Some recent developments have updated the situation at hand, and have raised further questions. The court consulting psychologist that assessed my friend and her ex-husband-in-process released her write-up. Everything in her write-up, I felt was very accurate (based off of a 45 minute individual session with each person, and the session with their kids). The following is a brief synopsis (again, names have been changed)
Lindsay: Stated the reasons for divorce were lying to her and to kids, cheating, hiding money, poor financial history (bankruptcy, spending sprees, etc.) not being involved in kids' lives, trust, etc.
She revealed all of the documentation and letters from doctors stating she had been the one to take them to appts. She has a stable career, provides the kids with an enriching, loving, and stable environment.
During her session with the kids she played, encouraged and was attentive to both (son and daughter). When the psychologist asked that she leave the room to speak to her 4-year-old son alone, she said "I will be right back," and her son did not want to see her leave.
Richard: Denies all accusations of having an affair, and accuses that Lindsay had an affair for the past 3 years (hence GPS tracking device), said that she is an alcoholic (even though he was initially hospitalized for alcoholism back in April, but later had his personal physician to change it to pancreatic complications for insurance purposes). He said he tried to make the marriage work, and still loves Lindsay and did everything in his power over the years to make marriage work. He even said they sleep in the same bed (which is not true). States that Lindsay is verbally abusive (even though he swears at her in front of the children). It was also revealed that he was seeing a psychologist prior to his hospitalization in April. That psychologist stated that Richard revealed his wife to be an alcoholic narcissist. BOTH psychologists stated that Richard has narcissistic characteristics.
With his session with the children, he played well with them. However, when asked to leave the room, he kissed and hugged his son excessively-"like he was leaving for a long trip, and [his son] showed no separation anxiety, like he did with Lindsay."
The court-assigned psychologist granted 100% custody (every other weekend for Richard) to Lindsay based off of Richard's unstable work life, poor decision-making skills, pending criminal charges, and the responsibility and stability Lindsay can provide for the kids. She also recommended that Richard seek counseling for a year, and provided resources to do so. Furthermore, she recommended they reevaluate Richard's conditions after 6 months to amend any necessary custody changes.
What sickens Lindsay and I further, is the fact that he wrote a very, very graphic and hostile letter to the court-psychologist about Lindsay's "affair", and her mental instability. The psychologist dismissed this letter completely-she realized it carried no weight whatsoever. What's more, the psychologist Richard was seeing since April, noted he does have narcissistic characteristics, but does have empathy and is insightful. As briefly stated in my initial question to, it is clear Richard does, in fact, possess a clear lack of empathy (actually a dangerous lack thereof-especially concerning the kids. He leaves the kids in the driveway in their car seats while he goes in the house, leaves their gas stove burner on, does not feed them dinner until 2 hours past normal, doesn't give their daughter naps, etc. etc.). Of course, as we know, individuals with PD's do not recognize a problem, will never reveal they have a problem, nor the truth about significant situations. A misdiagnosis, or none at all, is usually the result by a clinician.
My question/concern: Is there any way I can directly, ethically, and/or legally talk to either psychologist about his condition? If there is and I do so, should I wait until after the divorce is final and before Richard's 6 month evaluation? Richard's psychologist refused to comply to testify if needed. If I personally made an appointment with either psychologist to reveal my concerns about their situation (with Lindsay's consent, of course), could I do so ethically? What CAN I do?
Again, I apologize if this is a bit verbose. I feel the background information is necessary.
Thank you for your time.