What I am following is two things. First, that you feel you are in control of all these medications you are taking. And second, that you are taking a LOT of medications.
Some of the medications seem to be countering the other medications you are taking. That's a difficult game to play with your body. Now, Robert, you are an adult and I can't tell you what to do here with all these medications. But I can tell you that in general, it is not a great long term plan for your body to take all these medications.
The concern of long term wear on your body I discussed above. But there is also the concern that all these medications are keeping your brain on edge. Always either very hyper or very drowsy. That's worrisome by itself. It may be that you've gotten used to being in a very aroused emotional state because of the medications even more than the PTSD from your childhood history.
And this may be preventing you from letting your BPD wife out of your mind more. The drama may be feeding from the elevated emotional states from the medications you're taking. So, please think about that as well, okay?
I wish you the very best!
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