Hello I believe I can help you with your concern about your son today
I am sorry that your son has been exhibiting these symptoms, I can imagine how distressing it is for him and for you as parents
When his stomach hurts, it is most likely caused by anxiety because when your son is very anxious the blood flows from his internal core to his extremities (this caused by the fight or flight response), so there is less blood to aid in the digestive process and this causes stomach aches and cramps.
So definitely your son is having an extreme anxiety/panic attack about going to school. While he may have gotten teased at one point or multiple points during his time at school, it seems like he will always think it is going to happen and he over-exaggerates it in his mind that causes this anticipatory anxiety which causes his panic attacks and tantrums.
His OCD symptoms are a maladaptive way of trying to cope with his anxiety because he has not mastered appropriate coping skills due to his young age.
I understand your concern for your son, but before you feel like "enough is enough" and thinking about homeschooling, have you considered having your son be evaluated by a child therapist/psychologist.
A child therapist/psychologist can teach your son the appropriate coping mechanisms to help manage his anxiety better which will help him in the future for any other stressful period in his life.
Well there would be positives and negatives if you pulled him out now. The negatives would be that he would not have learned how to properly cope during an anxiety provoking situation, so when he becomes stressed or agitated again it could trigger a similar response like this. Another negative would be a loss of social interactions, but that can be easily made up with play dates, church functions, etc...A positive of this would be an immediate relief for your son and his tantrums and panic attacks will cease until the next stressful situation comes up
Well there are a few things that you can do to help him learn to manage his anxiety. One is by role-playing with him and re-enacting anxiety provoking situations and teaching him ways to cope with it by being assertive or learning to walk away. Another option is help each your son positive self-talk. One thing that is provoking his anxiety are negative self-beliefs, so this technique a positive belief record can help him turn those negative self beliefs into positive self beliefs.
Also this technique is called the What if that can help your son focus more on the positives than the negatives for certain future situations which can help transform your son's thought process, which will lessen his anxiety
And this last technique can help your son to decastrophise a situation by focusing on the worse case scenario and providing him alternative evidence to focus on that is more positive and plausible for the situation
Now if you keep him in school to "tough it out" then it is possible that he may overcome this by himself, but with his severe anxiety I think he will continue to escalate his behavior and this will have an impact on him socially and educationally that could last for awhile. If you choose to see a therapist while he goes to school or work on these techniques with him, then he has a great chance of adapting and learning good coping mechanisms to help with his anxiety where he can be a more successful student in school, but therapy and these techniques take time.
If you choose to go the medical route and get prescribed medication for your son, then the results will be more immediate then with therapy or the techniques, but medication only helps to lessen the symptoms and does not help with the root cause only therapy and these techniques can
I do think his anxiety is very severe to cause such panic attacks, so seeing a child therapist/psychologist would be best for him. The techniques will help to lessen the anxiety for him as will therapy, so his anxiety should not escalate a lot during this time. It may escalate a little, but then the techniques and therapy will kick in soon and his behavior will begin to lessen and decline gradually
Children his age often go through anxiety, but not this severe. This is abnormal, which is why I fell like a therapist can give your son more intensive treatment to help him. But because he is so young, there is a high success rate for treatment regarding this anxiety
There is not determination that he will have a mental illness in the future because of this anxiety, but he may have increased levels of anxiety as an adult. But with early treatment and learning of proper coping mechanisms as a child, they will become more of a habit for him to help him with future stressful situations, so he should be well adjusted as an adult, as I said this treatment has a high success rate because of his young age.
Most likely you did not do anything wrong as a parent, it is probably his temperament and that he was prone to extreme anxiety from stressful situations. By going to therapy and learning good coping mechanisms it will negate this anxiety where he will become well functioning
So you should not blame yourself at all, this level of anxiety is something that was not your fault at all
Anytime, I am always happy to help
If you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at anytime
I want to wish you and your son the best of luck with everything, and I hope I provided you with excellent service today