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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6049
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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at what point of feeling meaningless should I seek help?

Resolved Question:

at what point of feeling meaningless should I seek help?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

DoctorZ :

I am sorry that you are feeling "meaningless," I can imagine how distressing this is for you

DoctorZ :

I think when the feeling of being "meaningless" causes you distress and impairs some of your daily functioning, then that is a time to seek help. I think since you asking for about this, may also be a sign to seek help

DoctorZ :

Would you care to discuss why you are feeling "meaningless?"

Customer:

I just don't really see the point of life- you kill time distracting yourself with work, or family or school or some theorhetically fun diversion so you can use up resources the world doesn't have, and really do nothing but take up space. I guess my biological clock is ticking and since Ihave no kids and a husband who is not interested in sex and advanced degrees that seem to be good for nothing but holding up the wallpaper.

Customer:

so I should go see a therpaist, huh?

Customer:

*therapist

DoctorZ :

I am sorry that you are going through this, I think seeing a therapist will help you. More specifically a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) would be best for you. CBT therapy is designed to change your negative thought process into a more positive and plausible thought process to lessen your particular symptoms, which so far resemble a mild form of depression at this point.

DoctorZ :

May I ask you, for how long has your husband not been interested in sex?

Customer:

I can't see what you are typing...

Customer:

how do I change the view?

DoctorZ :

Can you still not see what I am typing?

Customer:

only the last line

Customer:

there's a big banner at the top but I can't seem to close it

DoctorZ :

I am not sure because my view is different then your view as I can see everything

DoctorZ :

I can write one line at a time to help you though if that works

Customer:

ok I think I can scroll a bit it may just take me a moment longer to read

DoctorZ :

I am sorry, this sounds like a technical difficulty.

DoctorZ :

I will mention it to customer service after our chat is completed

Customer:

ok - one line at atime wouldbe great

DoctorZ :

Would you like me to write what I wrote before again for you?

Customer:

my husband had an acute MI in september 2012 and had been decreasingly uniterested in sex for the last few years. I thought it was

Customer:

(I scrolled up most of what you wrote- CBT, right?)

DoctorZ :

Yes CBT that is correct

Customer:

ok.

Customer:

maybe with him it;s low T or he's dealing with stuff too

Customer:

I know he's got baggage

Customer:

(did I spell that right?)

DoctorZ :

yes you did

DoctorZ :

He could get a simple hormone test to see if it is biological

DoctorZ :

But if it is not, you can go to a couple's therapist

Customer:

yeah, he goes for routine bloodwork tomorrow

Customer:

and he would go to counseling if I asked.

Customer:

I spent years in therapy and somehow I thought I would be better adjusted

Customer:

by now

DoctorZ :

Have you tried CBT therapy before?

Customer:

describe it- maybe

Customer:

please

DoctorZ :

I will give an example of the most common CBT technique for you

DoctorZ :

This link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients

DoctorZ :

called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have.

DoctorZ :

You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the

DoctorZ :

evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up

DoctorZ :

with an alternative thought for the situation (more positive and plausible). This

DoctorZ :

will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and

DoctorZ :

not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.

Customer:

that sounds vaguely familiar- not the journal per se, but the change of perspective part

Customer:

I really do try- and generally I can find my way out of a funk

DoctorZ :

The thought record is an important and valuable technique in CBT therapy

Customer:

I guess I'm just emotionally exhausted

DoctorZ :

I also think you are disappointed too with where you are in life

Customer:

yes

Customer:

I thought I would have had children by now

DoctorZ :

Have you told your husband this?

Customer:

I had a chance once long ago and I made a choice I can't take back, now I am afraid that was my only chance

Customer:

yes

Customer:

I have told him

DoctorZ :

And what was his response?

Customer:

that whatever I need we can do

Customer:

he's generally very supportive when he knows how to respond

DoctorZ :

So it sounds like he is willing to have children with you soon

Customer:

he's not always sure how to rspnd though- he's a bit of a social misfit

Customer:

oh yes. we can do IVF and he wants to be a Dad- with me

Customer:

I knwo that

DoctorZ :

So that is a good thing isn't it?

Customer:

I have had major helath issues too- every heard of POTS?

Customer:

yes- my husband is a great guy- he's frustrating sometimes, but a great guy

DoctorZ :

Yes the heart rate disorder where your heart rate increases rapidly

Customer:

mostly- your blood pressure doesn't stay stable so if you stand you fall

Customer:

I have a variant of that plus endometriosis and hemicrania

DoctorZ :

Thats right, sorry I am not a cardiovascular expert, but I knew it involved heart rate and blood pressure

Customer:

so lots of chronic heealth stuff but I was raised that its no excuse not to jsut keep going so I do

Customer:

right. postural orthostatic tachycardia

DoctorZ :

And that is very commendable that you have pushed yourself so hard with these health issues

Customer:

I guess so

Customer:

does everyone do that?

Customer:

I shoudl say doesn't everyone?

DoctorZ :

No, most people with chronic health issues give up

DoctorZ :

You did not, and that is something to be proud of

Customer:

ok fair enough

Customer:

I am trying to get three companies off the ground- 2 with my mom who always makes my world weirder

Customer:

maybe that's part of it too, huh? too much at once?

DoctorZ :

How does she make your world weirder?

Customer:

that's 10 years of therapy there

DoctorZ :

Okay, fair enough

DoctorZ :

I was just curious

Customer:

she has her own emotional issues and doesn't ever want to deal or even acknoeldge them so when I talk to her about personal things she cant handle them

Customer:

her S.O. is her best friend form college who I think is well, useless

Customer:

*from

DoctorZ :

Sounds like she adds a lot of stress to your life, on top of the stress of building up 3 companies.

Customer:

so we have a detante that looks like happy mother-daughter form the outside and her side but to me looks like the cold war

Customer:

yes. lots of stress

DoctorZ :

Do you think working with your mother like this is what is causing your stress/depressive symptoms?

Customer:

I hate to say it, but I think it adds to them, yeah

Customer:

Ihave trouble with other full time jobs though because I am sick so often

Customer:

and I can work pretty much at my own time wiht her

Customer:

sorry for all the typos, by the way

DoctorZ :

Its okay, this is chat I understand how typos can happen

DoctorZ :

Is there anyway you can lessen your contact with your mother?

Customer:

thanks. :) I hope to get my company off the ground so I can work from my laptop anytime

Customer:

I guess I just needed to vent. CBT therapy should help again, right?

DoctorZ :

It will definitely help you and will even give you some good coping strategies to deal with your mother

Customer:

and its ok to come apart at the seems sometimes, right?

Customer:

as long as I get back together...?

DoctorZ :

We all need to vent here and there, but if you bring it back together afterwards you will be fine

Customer:

ok. thanks very much.

DoctorZ :

Try this technique, make up a weekly schedule and for each day put down 30 minutes for yourself

Customer:

k

DoctorZ :

During that 30 minutes do something for you that you normally would not do, like read a chapter in a new book

DoctorZ :

This will help you take back control of your life and not feel so stressed, it will help you

DoctorZ :

Is there anything else I can do to assist you tonight?

Customer:

I usually do just that- at night before bed I read.

Customer:

yes.

DoctorZ :

Do something you normally do not do then, but something that you enjoy

Customer:

is there really such a thing as an addictive personality? like you stop smoking and need to be entertained instead?

Customer:

can't think of anything I enjoy anymore

Customer:

but I will try

DoctorZ :

Well ponder it the for yourself

DoctorZ :

There is no such thing as an addictive personality per se, but there are individuals that are prone to addictions

DoctorZ :

There pleasure centers in the brain become overstimulated by their activities

DoctorZ :

and this causes them to repeat their behavior, and cause an addiction

Customer:

can you be addicted to things like TV, stories, entertainment- or is that just escape mechanism?

DoctorZ :

You can be addicted to these things, but usually it is rare because TV, stories, and entertainment

DoctorZ :

do not cause chemical reactions in the brain that cause an addiction

DoctorZ :

But it has not been studied extensively yet

Customer:

ok. cool. then I use books, tv and audiobooks as escape when I am grading papers, driving and such, right?

Customer:

well, potentially, since you don't know me that well

DoctorZ :

Yes, that makes sense. Most likely you use these tools as an escape and as a distraction

Customer:

(grr- I wish I could see what you are writing more easily- I am using Firefox broswer btw)

Customer:

that's one less thing to worry about then

DoctorZ :

Maybe the firefox browser has issues, I am using Chrome

DoctorZ :

Yep you should not be worried about being addicted to these things

Customer:

lol. avoiding internet exploder 10? me too

Customer:

thanks. I feel better.

DoctorZ :

Oh yeah I avoid IE like the plague, lol.

DoctorZ :

That is good, I am glad I was able to help

Customer:

one last questtion- should CBT help with PTSD?

Customer:

I heard it would- my hubs has PTSD

DoctorZ :

Definitely! CBT is excellent for most mental health disorders including PTSD

Customer:

perfect.

Customer:

thanks very much.

DoctorZ :

Anytime, I am glad that I was able to help. I can also recommend a good CBT book if you like to know more about it

Customer:

yes please

Customer:

one line though

Customer:

:)

DoctorZ :

I will try, I have two books in mind. I can put the links on here for you

Customer:

ok

Customer:

links worked

DoctorZ :

Those books are great for depression and PTSD

DoctorZ :

Great, I am glad the links worked

Customer:

I will check them out and look for a therapist locally.

Customer:

thanks again.

Customer:

I'll try to go to bed now. :)

DoctorZ :

I am glad that I was able to help you tonight

DoctorZ :

Have a good nights sleep

Customer:

me too

DoctorZ :

If you need anything else please feel free to contact me at anytime

Customer:

I will

Customer:

'night

DoctorZ :

I hope I provided you with excellent service tonight

Customer:

yep. big smiely face

DoctorZ :

Thank you I truly appreciate the positive review

Customer:

:)

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6049
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5438 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.