Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am sorry that you are feeling "meaningless," I can imagine how distressing this is for you
I think when the feeling of being "meaningless" causes you distress and impairs some of your daily functioning, then that is a time to seek help. I think since you asking for about this, may also be a sign to seek help
Would you care to discuss why you are feeling "meaningless?"
I just don't really see the point of life- you kill time distracting yourself with work, or family or school or some theorhetically fun diversion so you can use up resources the world doesn't have, and really do nothing but take up space. I guess my biological clock is ticking and since Ihave no kids and a husband who is not interested in sex and advanced degrees that seem to be good for nothing but holding up the wallpaper.
so I should go see a therpaist, huh?
I am sorry that you are going through this, I think seeing a therapist will help you. More specifically a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) would be best for you. CBT therapy is designed to change your negative thought process into a more positive and plausible thought process to lessen your particular symptoms, which so far resemble a mild form of depression at this point.
May I ask you, for how long has your husband not been interested in sex?
I can't see what you are typing...
how do I change the view?
Can you still not see what I am typing?
only the last line
there's a big banner at the top but I can't seem to close it
I am not sure because my view is different then your view as I can see everything
I can write one line at a time to help you though if that works
ok I think I can scroll a bit it may just take me a moment longer to read
I am sorry, this sounds like a technical difficulty.
I will mention it to customer service after our chat is completed
ok - one line at atime wouldbe great
Would you like me to write what I wrote before again for you?
my husband had an acute MI in september 2012 and had been decreasingly uniterested in sex for the last few years. I thought it was
(I scrolled up most of what you wrote- CBT, right?)
Yes CBT that is correct
maybe with him it;s low T or he's dealing with stuff too
I know he's got baggage
(did I spell that right?)
yes you did
He could get a simple hormone test to see if it is biological
But if it is not, you can go to a couple's therapist
yeah, he goes for routine bloodwork tomorrow
and he would go to counseling if I asked.
I spent years in therapy and somehow I thought I would be better adjusted
Have you tried CBT therapy before?
describe it- maybe
I will give an example of the most common CBT technique for you
This link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients
called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have.
You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the
evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up
with an alternative thought for the situation (more positive and plausible). This
will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and
not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
that sounds vaguely familiar- not the journal per se, but the change of perspective part
I really do try- and generally I can find my way out of a funk
The thought record is an important and valuable technique in CBT therapy
I guess I'm just emotionally exhausted
I also think you are disappointed too with where you are in life
I thought I would have had children by now
Have you told your husband this?
I had a chance once long ago and I made a choice I can't take back, now I am afraid that was my only chance
I have told him
And what was his response?
that whatever I need we can do
he's generally very supportive when he knows how to respond
So it sounds like he is willing to have children with you soon
he's not always sure how to rspnd though- he's a bit of a social misfit
oh yes. we can do IVF and he wants to be a Dad- with me
I knwo that
So that is a good thing isn't it?
I have had major helath issues too- every heard of POTS?
yes- my husband is a great guy- he's frustrating sometimes, but a great guy
Yes the heart rate disorder where your heart rate increases rapidly
mostly- your blood pressure doesn't stay stable so if you stand you fall
I have a variant of that plus endometriosis and hemicrania
Thats right, sorry I am not a cardiovascular expert, but I knew it involved heart rate and blood pressure
so lots of chronic heealth stuff but I was raised that its no excuse not to jsut keep going so I do
right. postural orthostatic tachycardia
And that is very commendable that you have pushed yourself so hard with these health issues
I guess so
does everyone do that?
I shoudl say doesn't everyone?
No, most people with chronic health issues give up
You did not, and that is something to be proud of
ok fair enough
I am trying to get three companies off the ground- 2 with my mom who always makes my world weirder
maybe that's part of it too, huh? too much at once?
How does she make your world weirder?
that's 10 years of therapy there
Okay, fair enough
I was just curious
she has her own emotional issues and doesn't ever want to deal or even acknoeldge them so when I talk to her about personal things she cant handle them
her S.O. is her best friend form college who I think is well, useless
Sounds like she adds a lot of stress to your life, on top of the stress of building up 3 companies.
so we have a detante that looks like happy mother-daughter form the outside and her side but to me looks like the cold war
yes. lots of stress
Do you think working with your mother like this is what is causing your stress/depressive symptoms?
I hate to say it, but I think it adds to them, yeah
Ihave trouble with other full time jobs though because I am sick so often
and I can work pretty much at my own time wiht her
sorry for all the typos, by the way
Its okay, this is chat I understand how typos can happen
Is there anyway you can lessen your contact with your mother?
thanks. :) I hope to get my company off the ground so I can work from my laptop anytime
I guess I just needed to vent. CBT therapy should help again, right?
It will definitely help you and will even give you some good coping strategies to deal with your mother
and its ok to come apart at the seems sometimes, right?
as long as I get back together...?
We all need to vent here and there, but if you bring it back together afterwards you will be fine
ok. thanks very much.
Try this technique, make up a weekly schedule and for each day put down 30 minutes for yourself
During that 30 minutes do something for you that you normally would not do, like read a chapter in a new book
This will help you take back control of your life and not feel so stressed, it will help you
Is there anything else I can do to assist you tonight?
I usually do just that- at night before bed I read.
Do something you normally do not do then, but something that you enjoy
is there really such a thing as an addictive personality? like you stop smoking and need to be entertained instead?
can't think of anything I enjoy anymore
but I will try
Well ponder it the for yourself
There is no such thing as an addictive personality per se, but there are individuals that are prone to addictions
There pleasure centers in the brain become overstimulated by their activities
and this causes them to repeat their behavior, and cause an addiction
can you be addicted to things like TV, stories, entertainment- or is that just escape mechanism?
You can be addicted to these things, but usually it is rare because TV, stories, and entertainment
do not cause chemical reactions in the brain that cause an addiction
But it has not been studied extensively yet
ok. cool. then I use books, tv and audiobooks as escape when I am grading papers, driving and such, right?
well, potentially, since you don't know me that well
Yes, that makes sense. Most likely you use these tools as an escape and as a distraction
(grr- I wish I could see what you are writing more easily- I am using Firefox broswer btw)
that's one less thing to worry about then
Maybe the firefox browser has issues, I am using Chrome
Yep you should not be worried about being addicted to these things
lol. avoiding internet exploder 10? me too
thanks. I feel better.
Oh yeah I avoid IE like the plague, lol.
That is good, I am glad I was able to help
one last questtion- should CBT help with PTSD?
I heard it would- my hubs has PTSD
Definitely! CBT is excellent for most mental health disorders including PTSD
thanks very much.
Anytime, I am glad that I was able to help. I can also recommend a good CBT book if you like to know more about it
one line though
I will try, I have two books in mind. I can put the links on here for you
Those books are great for depression and PTSD
Great, I am glad the links worked
I will check them out and look for a therapist locally.
I'll try to go to bed now. :)
I am glad that I was able to help you tonight
Have a good nights sleep
If you need anything else please feel free to contact me at anytime
I hope I provided you with excellent service tonight
yep. big smiely face
Thank you I truly appreciate the positive review