I am sorry I missed you today, the time difference makes it difficult at times to be online at the same time. I am really busy this week myself but will try tomorrow to catch up with you. In the meantime, could your angst be due to going back to work after the summer? It doesn't matter if you love the job it can still cause anxiety. Think about it.
Hi, I have thought about what you said. It had crossed my mind a little bit, but then I had originally discounted my thought about it because I know I sometimes get a bit nervous and anxious right before that first day back, but it just seemed so much angst. On reflection, you are probably right. Usually it's milder what I experience before that first day and once that first morning is done, I am fine again. I had not anticipated it to be so strong and for longer than just the first morning. I know I have a new line manager and some things may or may not change again. I didn't think that I gave it all too much thought, once I knew who I was having in my charge.
I just don't think I expected to be so tied in knots over it. Like I say, you quite probably right. I cannot think what else it could be all about, not at the moment anyway.
Before I was distracting myself from any thoughts and anxiety, and thought I was nicely dealing with it, but unbeknown to me, perhaps it was building up and I hadn't realised it was doing so. It's a thought........I should have been more mindful about time differences and the fact you are busy at the moment. I am sorry. Thank you for responding.
I also now think that the angst has been also been down to a couple of other things, like simple things not working as they should and being told different stories about making things work.
So, perhaps it's been the culmination of all that that's created angst.
I am here too.
I am betting you don't have much time, but thank you!
I'm okay for a bit of time right now. I am glad you had the opportunity to think about what might have caused the angst. It probably is a culmination of things and it's okay to feel it.
Once you know what it's from and know it will pass you will feel better...
I just, as I said previously, couldn't work it out, why I should have been feeling that way. Perhaps it will pass when things also start getting sorted out that I need sorting out.
it's temporary, just know that and you'll be better able to handle it....
I hope to feel better soon, especially since waking up at 5 am is not fun.
yes you're right.
Oh, you had to go?
it said you stepped out
Well getting up at 5am is not fun, way too early to me!! Once you adjust though it will become routine.
no I'm right here...
way too early for me too.
perhaps when I start relaxing properly again, then things like a proper time to be waking up will slot together like normal again.
If I had to do it and adjusted my routine I'd be okay in a few days. Just another change in routine and it can cause anxiety.
you may have to go to bed earlier!!!
I go to bed at 10 or 10:20 ish. I don't need to actually get up until just after 7am.
It usually is fine.
one thing to keep in mind is that you need to put relaxation in your daily routine, even if it's for 10 minutes, consciously relax.
I do try to, well, most days anyway.
I am sure you will figure it out and feel better. It's also the end of the summer and who knows, that could be contributing to it too...all the changes.
What is your schedule in the fall? Have you thought about taking a writing class again?
My schedule in the fall is usually working in the mornings, some times just supervising kids to school,Then times in the library after that. Then in the afternoons I usually finish around 4 after supervising kids back from school.
You are also going to keep looking for another position? one that is more full time ?
Sometimes I work evenings, just until 7 but I think that will be less this fall, but glad that they seem to be wanting to use me a bit more than what they have for that bit of time in the mornings.
I am still looking for another position.
I applied for an internal one recently, but didn't realistically think I'd get it.
Which I didn't.
I have not thought about another writing group.
I think any others might be quite some distance from where I live and are usually full.
Sometimes it's good to follow up with a hobby you like, you never know where it can take you. There are online courses....
The writers group I was with sounds like it may be on the verge of folding and I know of another that has.
I would suggest you keep looking, during that time you gained a lot of confidence and learned you had good skills, you should hone them.
I went to a craft fair recently, was just passing it and decided to go in. I got some webpages to look out for craft fairs by people who had stalls.
Good move, that's another direction your artistic side can take you.
I am not sure what to write about these days, perhaps something will come to me. I keep some newsletters sometimes that I once decided to sign up to from Amazon about publishing on Kindles.
Never really did anything about it because it sounds quite technical.
There are a lot of self publishing sites, Amazon's a good one.
As for honing any skills, sometimes I actually have to remind myself of what they are.
All you can do is try, I am sure it's not so technical that you couldn't figure it out, or find someone to help you.
Whilst you're hear, how was your summer?
thought I'd ask, since I went on about the festival.
It's been good, busier than I'd like but good. I've enjoyed the weather this month, we have had a few cool nights that were a nice reminder of how the fall will be, only thing I'll miss about the summer is the longer days.
yes, it is nice to have longer days. I too have been busier than I normally am during the summer.
that's good that you've had some cooler nights. We have too and a bit of rain, which we haven't seen in quite a while.
Let's go back to honing your skills, if you don't remember what they are go back and read the work you wrote. That may give you an idea!
yes, that's a good idea.
There is always a solution, a direction and a goal that you can reach. Sometimes you have to search a bit or push yourself but if you look at what you can do, not what you can't do you'll find it faster.
I try to push myself. I think I used to be better at that than I am now.
I like the idea that there's always a solution....
It may take a long time but it can also happen in one split second. Think about the jewelry, if you happened to find someone who liked your jewelry and was willing to take it on consignment there is a start to a new venture. If you go to one person who can't take it on right now, then you keep looking until you find that person or work that craft fair yourself.
I'd have to work it myself, but do have someone willing to also make some pieces.
It can either make you more determined or you can give up, make an excuse to not pursue it. You are not a quitter, that much I do know but start small and see what happens. Focus on you, what you can do, I'd not bring someone else into the picture until you are secure with it. Trust youself.
okay, I only temporarily brought a friend into the picture because she got me starting making jewellery, but she can probably get that back anyway for the charity she is involved in.
I think as I didn't get that stall that I had hoped for, she will want it back anyway.
The jewelry is just an example, translate that to your writing . Who knows you may write something that isn't noticed or you may write the next great book. The thing is, you'll never know unless you decide to have faith in yourself and your abilities.
I think that's it in anything really, that I need to trust myself more.
You do, it's not that you don't it's that you try real hard to believe it but there may be that tiny voice inside holding you back from really believing it.
I think because I used to really believe in myself, and then things started to go wrong, so I thought I must be wrong.
I do have to run now...just looked at the clock.....hope this chat helped you today and glad we were able to catch up. Now you have a few things to give some thought .
so I became much more cautious about trusting my.self.
Thank you. It has helped and gave me food for thought
Stop thinking you must be wrong, if you are wrong so what? turn it around and make it work for you....
well, that's more food for thought.
:0 have a good evening! or night!!!