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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6072
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Boyfriend with bpd and trust issues

Resolved Question:

Boyfriend with bpd and trust issues. He also has combat ptsd after 7 deployments and being shot... His ex wife has Bpdbpd

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern with your boyfriend

DoctorZ :

I am sorry that your boyfriend has been experiencing all of these symptoms associated with these 2 disorders you mentioned

DoctorZ :

Unfortunately trust issues are common with individual diagnosed with bpd because bpd causes identity disturbances that lead to self-consciousness and lead to trust and jealousy issues.

DoctorZ :

How can I help you tonight?

Customer:

When he didn't believe what I'm saying and thinks I an lying to him... How can help him see that I'm telling the truth

Customer:

Sometimes he pushes so much I feel like I have to lie just to get him to stop

DoctorZ :

Well that is a difficult situation and first he needs to make his negative thoughts of you lying more tangible so he can weight the evidence for and against it and then come up with an alternative thought to help him think more rationally and positively. This technique I have is a thought record that can help him with his trust issues and when he accuses you of lying.

DoctorZ :

May I ask is your boyfriend currently in therapy?

Customer:

Yes but she just works on him with his anger management...I feel like he needs top deal with his core issues but he is extremely hard to talk to about that because he doesn't feel he has problem

DoctorZ :

Another technique is a theory worksheet that can benefit him and both of you can do it together. These techniques are really effective for individuals with combat PTSD because they like that it is tangible.

DoctorZ :

Would your boyfriend be open to couples counseling, so he does not feel that he is the only one with the problem?

Customer:

Yes I think so...

DoctorZ :

Couple counseling can help him understand the issues you are having in a safe environment and the counselor can communicate those issues effectively to him. And the counseling can help you better understand what he is going through and the counselor can help him communicate those issues better for you

Customer:

It is hard because are schedules are so crazy and its hard to find someone that did evening appts

DoctorZ :

That is tough, but actually there are some therapists out there that start their day in the early afternoon and go through the night to accommodate patients with schedules like yours

DoctorZ :

Also some therapists provide weekend appointments too if that is an option

Customer:

Well hopefully I will find one! Its so hard watching him go through this because he has not had any help with the VA and gets 90% disability because of his ptsd... Hard to find someone that can help with combat vets as well

DoctorZ :

Is your boyfriend on any medications?

DoctorZ :

Wow no help from the VA? That is unfortunate, I used to work with veterans in Los Angeles, and the VA there was pretty good overall.

DoctorZ :

Your boyfriend does have a number of disorders and when combined present a complex individual. So you can shop for a good couples therapist around that both of you feel comfortable about

Customer:

Yes but I an most certain he does not them.. Latuda, wellbutrin, and adderall...Ativan occasionally... I am most certain he is addicted to adderall... What's weird is mood is so much better when he does take it

DoctorZ :

His mood will be better when taking adderall, stimulants typically help improve moods. But adderall has a short half-life and when it starts to dissipate in the body, withdrawal symptoms present themselves which typically start with irritability and rage.

Customer:

The VA just medicates here... He did like a psychiatrist in Asheville because she dealt with guys who did special operations but she left... She said they are hard to keep in counseling and get treatment

DoctorZ :

I am sorry that she left and had such good rapport with your boyfriend

DoctorZ :

The VA does medicate a lot that is true

Customer:

His adderall dose is 30 mg 3x a day

DoctorZ :

His adderall dose sounds like a standard dose, but like I said you may notice the irritability as his adderall starts to dissipate in his system.

Customer:

It's sad because I have found with my job we are picking up allot more combat vets with Psych issues that aren't getting treatment

Customer:

Would long acting adderall be more helpful?

DoctorZ :

Unfortunately that happens a lot. I used to work in a jail and we would get a lot of combat vets that were not getting proper treatment, it was sad to see.

DoctorZ :

Yes the Adderall XR would help him or possibly switching to Vyvanse which is long acting and has less side effects then Adderall

Customer:

Btw you have been extremely helpful! To bad you don't do Skype our I would tell him to talk to you!

DoctorZ :

I wish we did skype, I know it is a suggestion for this website, so hopefully in the future some type of video chat will be available.

Customer:

Ok I will talk to him about it...

Customer:

Well I will stay on the look out!

DoctorZ :

I know you mentioned conflict resolution books you have tried, do you like the self-help books and materials?

Customer:

Yes! What would be some good ones?

DoctorZ :

First I will give you this link to a therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, it is ideal for treatments of individuals with BPD

DoctorZ :

And this book helps combine different therapy modules for individuals with PTSD

Customer:

Will this chat log save so I have the links?

DoctorZ :

Yes it will save the chat for you and you either get a link in your email after you finish rating me or the link is already in your email now.

Customer:

Ok thank you so much!

DoctorZ :

Here is also a book that explains DBT step by step

DoctorZ :

Anytime, I am always happy to help

DoctorZ :

Is there anything else I can assist you with tonight?

Customer:

No you have helped tremendously! Thank you!

DoctorZ :

I am glad that I was able to help you tonight.

DoctorZ :

If you have any further questions or concerns please feel free to contact me again at anytime

DoctorZ :

I hope I provided you with excellent service tonight

Customer:

You have! I hope you have a wonderful evening!

DoctorZ :

You as well. Good night and have a great rest of your weekend

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6072
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5456 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.