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Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that you are going through this, chronic illness is a difficult condition that effects many individuals' mental health like you are describing
I was always such a door mat. I really can hardly believe I'm so horrible.
I will almost say anything to anyone these days.
So you are describing no motivation to stand up for yourself?
I stand up for myself too much.
I take the battle over the hill too much..
even when an issue is not my concern. I have a hard time letting things go.
Yeah you mentioned that, not letting things go can increase irritability in someone and constantly build up
My husband says I've been a bully in expecting him to then stand up for me when I've made a mess..
I do not think you intentionally are doing this, but these behaviors are a response to negative thoughts that you have and they have been escalating
I agree and ruminate on situations; have a hard time letting go; trusting, etc.
My husband says they make me appear weird and like a stalker and he has threatened to leave me. I am devastated.
I had no idea it was so bad and that he felt that way. But I understand now.
Well you feel anger towards your husband's ex and that is why you are posting those things on her facebook.
Anger is a natural emotion, and can be exhibited in a healthy and assertive manner.
This technique may help you, it is called an Anger Decision sheet
This will help you express your anger in a healthy and positive way
Thank you. She and I had made amends, I thought, but it was not sincere on her part. She turned and I was even more hurt and angry.
I will definitely use that tool.
Well that should not matter, you can only control yourself. If you make the effort to change that is a big step and it should not matter how she responds
Anger was an 'unattractive' emotion for us girls when I was growing up...
I don't want to be the scary stalker
I don't want to be sick either, but I can't control that part as much. The mental part I can or I can get some more help for it.
Anger gets a bad rap of being a negative emotion that we should never express, but it will build up and be unleashed in an unhealthy way. If you learn to accept anger and express it in an assertive way, then it is healthy and positive and can promote change
I have felt it all around me, like a poison. My in-laws also enable the behaviors of the ex and my husband's sons and my husband does not like to confront them. I feel like it's a hornet's nest..
Chronic Illness is difficult because the root cause is the chronic illness for your mental health symptoms, but if we do not let the negative thoughts contribute significantly to that then you can begin to have a more positive thought process that will be more beneficial to you
It sounds like a bad situation, but with that anger decision sheet there is also a section of letting it go to that you can process.
IThe root of it: what makes me sick and is hard to let go was that it was my own son, whose abuse and molestation started at age 5 at the hands of my husband's young son who ended up later in State's custody with a severe diagnosis of RAD and was seriously homicidal. I put my own little boy in this situation. My stepson's mother likely molested him preverbally.... I have to let it go.
I remember discussing about your son in a previous conversation (I believe it was a little over a week ago) and I am very sorry that he went through that, but it sounds like you have guilt over this and you feel like blaming yourself because of this guilt
I will use the anger sheet. Do you think I need different meds than just 100mg of Pristiq?
We did speak about this.
This is keeping me from living.
You could add abilify to enhance the effectiveness of an antidepressant. I also think you have anxiety too, so some anti-anxiety medication may help
I am here to help you, so we can take as long as you want and you can ask me as many questions as you like.
For your guilt about your son, I think you have something called Hindsight bias because you are blaming yourself that you could have done something. This worksheet can provide more details of it
Hindsight Bias is very common with individuals who have guilt
I will have to try something different than abilify due to the extra movements; dr has suggested perhaps amytriptaline? I am tough to medicate. Very sensitive. I have stayed away from benzo's as long as possible and use them sparingly.
Thank you so much for these tools. I have never seen these and I really appreciate tangible techniques.
Cognitively, I KNOW that these things are wrong.. these thinking errors.. these choices to feel a certain way are unhealthy and unproductive. It makes it all the more frustrating and disheartening.
I love worksheets because I think they help and give more tangible process for you, also I try my best to give as many worksheets as possible so you dont have to go buy a book with these exact worksheets, so I also like saving you money
I am grateful for your help.
A SSRI or an SNRI can treat both anxiety and depression
And knowing that these are thought distortions is a good first step to getting better
My husband sees that I am sincere and loves and supports me getting help in any way. I am slowly seeing hope. Thank you.
Here is a last worksheet for you, I do not want to overload you, that can help with negative thoughts. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more positive and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
You have really helped me tonight and I am specifically thankful that I got you.
Anytime, I am always happy to help
Thanks. I will take all of these and put them to good use.
If you need anything else in the future, you are more than welcome to contact me
I wish you the best of luck with everything
I hope I provided you with excellent service tonight
Thank you. You have!