Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I can understand the distress you are going through and why you do not want to push you boyfriend away with your mood swings.
May I ask how long you have had these types of mood swings for?
Okay, well I think what you have is a disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder. Here is a link that describes it more in detail for you
The good news is that there are treatments that can help manage the symptoms and lessen the behaviors that you are experiencing
Well it is possible that when you went into care that you were given the wrong treatments that can make it worse
The best treatment for this type of disorder is called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is used cognitive therapy to help change any negative thought pattern to become more positive. In addition is uses tenants from Easter philosophy that helps manage the emotions and behaviors, so that they do not control you, but you control them.
I understand, but I am here if you would like to talk about this more.
The first step is identifying the issue, and now that you have done that, seeking treatment is usually the next step
I will give you a link for self-help DBT therapy that can help right away