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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hello, I separated 2 1/2 years ago. Recently I told the ex

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I separated 2 1/2 years ago. Recently I told the ex I had met someone and would like regular nights or weekends free to go out (the kids are with me most of the time). He has since sent me many many abusive hateful vile emails and text messages. He said he only needs 5 minutes to wind back the clock. He was never violent but I am feeling very anxious after all this and now am feeling apprehensive or even scared.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

It sounds like either your ex was reacting with jealousy that you have moved on from the relationship or he is struggling to deal with his emotions overall. Either way, that does not excuse what he did to you. And it could be a sign that he needs professional help.

If possible, try to keep the emails and copy and send them to your attorney, if this was a divorce. If not, you may want to let your close relatives know as well as the police. It never hurts to cover all bases so in case the situation becomes worse, you can call for help immediately.

Because your ex is acting in this way, you may want to reconsider his ability to see the children without supervision. You do not want him taking his feelings out on the children just to get back at you. So talking to an attorney about your rights, showing the attorney the emails and getting an idea of how to protect yourself and your children is a positive step that can help you feel less anxious about the situation.

If you feel you would like to talk with your ex again, try taking someone with you who can help you should your ex become upset or angry. You do not want to try to handle the situation alone. Be ready to contact the police as well if you feel threatened at any time. It is always better to err on the side of safety if you feel uncomfortable.

Also consider therapy if you feel your ex's behavior is bothering you enough to cause you distress. The support can help you cope with his behavior. And your therapist might be able to help you figure out why your ex might suddenly be so angry so you know how to respond.

I hope this has helped you,

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TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
I hope my answer was helpful to you. Please let me know if you have any more questions.


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