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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5524
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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KateHi: Now that my Mom has passed away OKMH0801217

Resolved Question:

Kate Hi: Now that my Mom has passed away I need to make some 'big' decisions. My question is - how long would you wait to make a 'life changing' decision after a parent dies? Or maybe what I am asking is - if my living situation is causing me stress, but I have had another stressful happening, should I trust my decision making abilities? I don't feel unable to make good decisions but I am much more angry than ever before. Part of me wants to go now and part of me says don't be rash. So the part that says don't be rash is going to win, but what price am I paying? Can a year of stress cause permanent damage? Thanks. I will maybe add to this question as I think on it. BotXXXXX XXXXXne, I am looking to come up with a long term solution.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the question.

How long it takes someone to recover from grief varies from person to person. It depends a lot on the relationship you had with the person you lost and other factors. However, six months to a year is about how long most people grieve a loss.

Making decisions is difficult when you are grieving. Your emotions are more intense and it is easy to make a rash decision before you have had time to think things through.

While stress cannot permanently damage you, it can cause a variety of symptoms, sometimes ones that are difficult to address. So seeking support and help with what you feel right now is vital. Friends, other family and on line support can really help. And taking special care of yourself is also important. See your doctor, rest a lot and be around others who care for you and are supportive.

Therapy is also a great option. Grief is not something you should deal with alone. And if you are facing the possibility of ending your marriage after just dealing with your mother's passing, that is a lot of stress to take on. Talking about your feelings and having someone there is help guide you can be invaluable.

Working through your grief at home also can help. The more you learn about how to process what you feel, the easier it will be to know how to handle your feelings. Here are some resources to help:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce... byJohn W. James and Russell Friedman

Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart by Alan D. Wolfelt

The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change by Melody Beattie

Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5524
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank you, I look forward to reading the resources you suggested.

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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Mental Health Professional
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.