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Heidi LPC
Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 234
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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Hi, I have a Twitter friend who is suicidal. Her family is

Customer Question

Hi, I have a Twitter friend who is suicidal. Her family is no help at all and neither were her past counsellors. I referred her to this site but I don't know if she will come. If you can spare a moment please tweet @midnightode and encourage her. Thank you so much.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.

Heidi LPC :

Hello! My name is XXXXX XXXXX X am happy to be of service... if you truly are worried that she will commit suicide, have you considered calling the emergency response people to have her transported to a hospital? That would be a very helpful thing to do if you are frightened that she is truly threatening to kill herself....

Heidi LPC :

Anyone who is suicidal is reaching out for help, and it may be possible that you could help her with a phone call if you know where she is or what her name is. If you don't know these things, you are doing the best you can by answering her with encouragement. Of course, we here will attempt to assist her should she reach out to us. I am sure it is very frustrating and frightening for you to sit idly by and not be able to help her, but I greatly admire you reaching out to us here.

Heidi LPC :

Thank you for using the site today, and please let us know if we can be of any further help to you in this very frustrating situation. Take good care of yourself and let us know if you need anything else!

Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.
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Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Thank you so much. It is very frustrating for me as I don't know her phone or where she lives. Do you know of any professional counsellors who are willing to Twitter chat, as an act of charity, perhaps? My friend says she has not had any good counsellors in the past and her family doesn't do enough to help, all they do is tell her to go to church. Of course these are just what she tweeted. I'm sorry to be so rambly but my worry is messing me up a bit. Could I get her to pass a question onto here, if she accepts, because I don't think she has much money at all. Thanks.
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.
Hello again, Nan! Yes, as you mentioned, you only have the knowledge of her true situation through what she chooses to share on Twitter. Any one of us here will happily offer her advice or answer her questions, should she decide to ask... and can try to give her some ideas and resources to lead her towards some help. As far as Twitter goes, I did check out her page last night and saw what you meant; as her tweets are unprotected and public, it is easy to see what she is sharing. She is absolutely very, very angry and most likely has much to be angry about. Again, I can see your concern and desire to want to help is sincere... yet, without any further information about her and her whereabouts, I would say that the best anyone can do via Twitter is to offer encouragement or support, should one feel they want to do so. The world is filled with so many people who are in emotional and psychological pain for many different reasons, and although we wish we could solve all the problems and fix it, people can only really fix themselves in the end. They have to want to be helped. I wish for her that she will eventually see that there is good in the world and that she will reach out and look for help. And for you, I wish you the very best of karmic reward for your caring and compassionate concern. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance to you, and I truly wish you all the best!
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
dear Heidi, Thank you so much for going to my friend's twitter site and reading it. But now I would like to talk about myself if that's okay. You see, I started this trying to save suicidal people on twitter thing on a whim because I read about another girl who did that and was praised for it. I wanted to kinda prove that I was a good person. But I think I've bitten off more than I can chew, I'm getting stressed with worry and I would like to stop. But without abandoning my friend...and another girl like her I talked a lot with....without help. In short I want to ditch her without ditching her, if you know what I mean. I guess that's why I went as far as to pay for expert advice on this site, I was hoping that someone who has far more expertise than me could help her and I can go back to living my happy life and trying to write beautiful music and laughing...selfish perhaps but I did jump in at the deep end without really looking. Any advice on how I can do this would be much appreciated! Thanks.
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.

Nan--- thank you for your question and your honesty! Disconnecting from dysfunction is an important thing to know how to do for your own mental health... particularly in a situation like this where you have no "real" investment or knowledge of this person and their integrity. People who feed on drama and negative attention will go to great lengths to find willing "hosts" to feed off of, and this person may truly be in pain--- yet it will be important to ask yourself if you can really trust her, and if the energy you are giving a stranger is really where you'd like to focus your energy?

 

You speak of using your energy for creativity and happiness--- these are healthy, life-affirming activities, as opposed to sinking into someone else's darkness when it very well could be that they are just sucking your life from you for their own selfish purposes. Boundaries are what you are speaking of--- we all must have defined boundaries in terms of our relationships in this world... meaning, how much will you invest safely, with whom, and when must your own health and defense be taken into consideration? Trying to support and encourage others is a basic human experience and it is good; yet, trying to change someone else or help when the person resists help becomes unhealthy for the helper. This situation has demonstrated that there must be healthy limits in helping--- you can offer encouragement, but to a limit--- once you begin to feel too wrapped up in someone else's drama and pain, it is time to take a step back. She has to 'own' her problems, and choose to be proactive and look for help, rather than being reactive and simply spewing emotion to anyone who will listen. This relieves her pain, yet is simply dumping it on innocent bystanders like you... which in turn makes you partial owner of her burden.

 

I admire your wish to help--- the world needs more people like you. Just keep your boundaries firm and know that the only person you can truly change is yourself, but that offering support must be done with absolutely no expectations that she will use it for her benefit. You almost have to think of it as a gift you give, and you do it with no expectation that she will use it. Focus on you for a while, and just slowly back away from the computer and the time you spend on Twitter for a bit. Unwrap those tentacles from around you, and take a deep breath... life is happening all around you and you have great things ahead of you! Maybe you will study to go into a helping profession--- and then you will use your powers for good in life! It is ok to not help sometimes, too. People have to earn your trust and respect, and it is ok to surround yourself with people who lift you up as opposed to dragging you down! As a matter of fact, life is much more fun when you do!

 

Things have a way of working out as they should, and sometimes just observing and not intervening teaches us how that happens. You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness--- you can choose who and when you support and encourage, and never have to be a victim of someone else's circumstances unless you choose to do so.

 

Hope that helps! Keep up the great work.... and write more music!! Smile

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Dear Heidi, thank you so much. I have decided to Tweet my friend and the others like her and offer to talk anytime...but only if they Tweet me first. I really appreciate all your help. Do you know of any good mental health sites that are free and offer chat or messaging, so I can refer people to there if they seek me out? Just for the professional help they might need.
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.

Great choice, Nan!! As far as free mental health chats, there are a few like this one that have mental health professionals who are ready to help and you decide whether to pay for the service if you feel satisfied with the service received. Then there are online chat/support groups like:

http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/supportforum/

And some self-help sites with online advice, some chat rooms and support: https://www.liveandworkwell.com/public/content/self_help.asp

http://psychcentral.com/ (chat rooms available here)

I hope this is helpful.... depending on where you live, there may even be free online guidance through your local Health Department, colleges, and other social service agencies. Offering to help others is a wonderfully kind gesture, and with the appropriate limits and boundaries in place, you will help yourself through helping others! Let me know if you need anything else, and thanks again for your questions!! :-)

Heidi LPC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 234
Experience: Licensed Professional Counselor
Heidi LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Heidi LPC replied 11 months ago.
Thank you for the positive rating, Nan, and all my best to you! Let me know if I can ever be of any assistance to you again--- just write "For Heidi LPC" at the front of your question and it will come right to me. Thank you, and have a wonderful weekend!

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