Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
This is very disturbing to hear and i can understand how all of you feel.
did your grandaughter say anything about him touching her or him asking to be touched?
I am happy that your daughter is seeing her lawyer in the morning so that she can have some guidance on how to proceed from a legal standpoint.
I will wait for you to come online so we can talk further.
My granddaughter did not say anything about him touching her or her touching him.My daughter really didn't want to question her in that respect for fear she would ask the wrong thing or put words into her head ....
Should she ask probing questions ?
I believe your daughter is doing the right thing right now by speaking with her attorney in the morning as a first step.
From a mental health perspective, I can certainly understand how she might worry about opening up a can of worms, but remember her child came to her and told her about what happened and she is communicating in some way that she was not comfortable.
I would wait until the mtg with the attorney, but in the case of a child being exposed to inappropriate sexual behavior some additional gentle questions may need to be asked and that can also be done with the help of a professional close to home. It is about protecting the child from further harm and exposure. I know you agree and that is why you have reached out here. But again a good first step is this meeting and then you can go from there on what steps need to be taken to find out more. You might want to know how often does she sleep in bed with daddy. Is this the first time he took off his underwear? Things of that nature can give you a better idea as to what is going on. If you or her mom sense any distress about it, then I would suggest you seek the help of a local professional.
How does that sound as a good few first steps?