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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am overly unsatisfied with my life and how it has turned

Resolved Question:

I am overly unsatisfied with my life and how it has turned out. More importantly I am aware of this, I just don't know how to go about to solve it or seek help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Can you tell me specifically what you feel is not satisfying in your life? Do you feel that there were certain reasons your life has not turned out like you expected?

Thank you,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I felt like I tried to do the right things, but I am just stuck. I've been working at a job for over 12 years that I have grown to hate, due to the fact of everyone here has something going on in their life. I Don't. Maybe I am feeling alone, not lonely, but I feel like no one really understands me, at work or home. I really hate hanging out with anyone, for which I feel is because I just do not want to hear them and their success. I am not happy with how my life turned out, and I would love to know how to MOVE on. Things seemed to fall naturally to me, but It's just not happening anymore like that. I feel like my luck has ran out, and now it leaves with where do i go from here. I am very hard on myself, and when I do try to socialize, I hate it, I hate the feedback and just feel like I do, its never good enough. I am afraid of venturing out on my own to really fall hard and definitely will be alone. I'm lost and I don't know who or where to turn to without being judged. It's almost as if at work and in my life, I am setting myself to want to fail or die. I feel weak, and just wish someone can understand and love me. WHich means I am sooo WEAK, and NEEDY, which i don't want to admit to others, because the little that I do have would only leave.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for the additional information. It helps.

The first step in dealing with what you feel is to find out why you feel this way. You and your therapist might have explored this already but if not, it is very helpful to know where your thoughts come from, why you are so hard on yourself and what leads you to believe that you are not moving ahead in life. Most often, it is something in our childhoods that triggers thoughts about ourselves that bring us down. Abuse, neglect or other traumas give us the idea that we are not as good as others and that we are alone in life. So by exploring what may have caused what you feel, you can try to challenge those thoughts and feelings.

Second, you may want to work on challenging your beliefs about yourself and others. While other people at work and elsewhere in your life might present as having it all and being very happy, for the most part people only present what they feel makes them look good. So by challenging the belief you have that others are better off than you might help you feel less down about yourself. Write down what you think is true about you and what you feel holds you back from believing good things about yourself. That may help you change those thoughts.

Third, do something everyday to go against what you feel about yourself. For example, if you feel your work makes you unhappy, spend time redoing your resume one day. Focus on what you can improve and see what others say about your resume so you can make it the best you can. Spend another day taking career tests to see what might interest you, etc. Each day make some progress so you have hope of change.

Fourth, try to connect with someone in your life. Pick a person who you have felt some kind of connection to and try to improve that relationship. Or try volunteering your time to others. There is nothing like helping someone to improve your mood and allow you to see that you can make a difference.

Most of all, try not to see yourself as needy and weak. You are much stronger and more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. Just by reaching out today and with your therapist, you show that you have insight and the ability to solve your own problems. Build on that and remind yourself that you are worthy.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.

Kate










May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!

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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
3899 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.