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Hello! I might be able to help you with your question. Are you around? In these cases usually you try to use a strategy that's not blackmailing but it is kind of making her feel guilt (for a good cause which is to go and get help). You can tell her, "Hey, if you ever loved me, and if you still do, I'm asking you this from the bottom of my heart. Please let's go and check you out with a doctor. That's all I want. Just to make sure everything's fine. Just ONE time. Could you do that for the love you have towards me? You have no idea how happy you will make me. Please, for me? For my peace of mind?" That is one good strategy. I've seen it work. How old is she and what symptoms is she showing?
She is 58. She feels that everyone is out to get her, in particular the people who are closest to her. Starting with me (husband) , siblings and neighbors. She believes that God placed millions of dollars in an account and she is a millionaire.
Ok, so she is delusional and paranoid.
Oh yea. Your strategy won't work because she hates me after 35 years of marriage and can't wait to divorce me.
Very much so.
ooops. Sorry didn't know that. Why does she hate you? Has she told you why? Usually in long marriages where someone can't wait to divorce the other it is because there have been many times when that person has told the other what she/he would like the partner to modify in their behavior and after years of saying the same thing, they haven't been able to make the other person realize that what the partner is asking of the other is really important for the love to stay alive. Did that ever happen to you? Was she nagging about some things she wanted you to change? Or has she never told you why?
Up until about a year ago we had what I thought to be a happy , healthy marriage. I'm being accused of being a gang member, an adulterous, a pedifile and all sorts of ugly things and she says she is going to take me down. And let me assure you I am none of those things.
OK, so she just wants a divorce now, after the delusional phase started. You're telling me that before this, everything was OK. When did this start with her? How long ago?
Was it just this year?
I mean has it been a year since this all started?
About a year. It started with new neighbors and having to get police involved because of their dogs.It seem to spread from there. She thought she was being followed, she thought my son (21) and I was in league with the neighbors.
Has she gotten physically aggressive in any sort of way? Has she said anything that would compromise her about killing herself or about killing you?
Not at all. But she has started to use language that is not normal for her.
OK. There is one strategy that might work. But it is pretty harsh.
Legally you can go to a court house, depending on the laws of the State you live in and ask for a signed paper from a judge that you understand that your wife is mentally ill and incompetent and that she MIGHT be able to hurt herself or someone else.
They will give you this piece of paper where then you will call the police and they will come with the paramedics to take her to the nearest psychiatric hospital to be evaluated immediately. I believe that in the paranoid state she is right now, that's your best bet. Whilst a pretty harsh move. It is your best bet.
I was afraid you were going to say that. That would be my very last resort. I thank you.
Well, I am really sorry, but from what you just told me, her paranoia is so strong that she will not do anything that anyone tells her. Unless she has someone in her friends or family who she trusts. But I somehow don't see that happening. I believe if that person she trusts tells her she has to get checked she will think that somebody convinced that person to harm her also, like everyone else.
I'm sorry but yes, it is a very hard decision, but the only one you have right now.
And lastly , she has an older sister who I confided in who she is, (was ) very close to until a couple of days ago. Now I'm being accused of sleeping with her because she found out that we had talked.
Definitely delusional paranoid. Again, very sorry you're going through this, but you have to act QUICK! Ask your lawyer what to say to the authorities so you don't lose the opportunity for this to happen. I mean in some places they won't do this unless you specifically tell them that she is suicidal or that she wants to harm someone. Unless you want to try one last time that a friend she still trusts tries to tell her to go see a psychiatrist and get evaluated. Anyway, I hope I was of help to you. I am so sorry you're going through this hard time. Please feel free to ask anything else if you're not satisfied. Don't leave if you have any doubts about what we talked.
You were a great help. For that I thank you and will address the problem immediately. Thanks.
Blessings to you! May everything get BETTER!