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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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please help im afraid to call my psychiatrist it is almost

Resolved Question:

please help im afraid to call my psychiatrist it is almost a year since my closest friend died and it hurts a lot. my dad died three weeks later.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I'm available to assist you. Welcome!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It would be great if you could engage in live chat, giving you the opportunity to ask additional questions.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm so very sorry for your loss- there must be a large void with the loss of your friend. It's so painful- a hollow feeling sometimes. Someone so important to you is gone.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It has not been quite a year, that is not a very long time when it is someone so close to you- someone so cherished. Your father died only three weeks ago! That's way too much for one person!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Would you tell me a bit more about the fear in calling your doctor?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

The death of your dad, was it sudden?

Customer:

it really hurts, my therapist threw me out three weeks after John and dad died, i have no where to turn, if i call the psychiatrist, he will have me committed

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thank you so much for joining the chat. I am so very sorry for your great loss. I can only imagine you must feel like collapsing, with such tremendous loss in your life. It makes us question life for sure! I am here to offer some support- it's normal for you to be so distraught.

Customer:

what do i do now ? i guess i could try to sleep, but i dont think that will work

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I would imagine sleep would be tough right now- continue to talk to me about it- I'm here, and I'd like to hear more from you.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You need support and more support right now. You are not alone- I'm so glad you posted tonight!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

When someone so close to us dies it feels so final, so unbelievable at the same time. It's surreal when we lose someone. There one day, gone the next- very painful for you, for anyone. The only true healer of loss is time.

Customer:

how can i make the pain stop?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Do you think your psychiatrist could offer some relief? Even if it was something short term?

Customer:

he gave me stuff to sleep

Customer:

we knew it was going to be rough for a while

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Do you have support of friends and family? That's what the doctor is there for, to help with pain, even emotional pain, especially when it feels like the pain wont' stop. The doctor may be able to get you through the crisis- for you to calm, relax a bit. It sounds like the pain is unbearable.

Customer:

i am alone now

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Even though we know it's going to be rough- it still seems like it will go on forever- the pain I mean- you are right it will be less rough as time goes on.

Customer:

this pain is scary

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm here for you- to offer a bit of support- for you to feel less alone. You need to know someone is there for you, you deserve support at such a difficult time. It's scary but normal for what has happened.

Customer:

how can i go on ?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Is it hard for you to reach out to others? If it's too scary- find someone who can stay with you, to feel less alone.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Somehow you will go on, one minute, one hour, one day, time...

Customer:

i can't stop crying

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Know that the pain does ease a bit. Very understandable that this hurts so very much. Death is so final, hard to make sense out of it. It's okay to cry- you are grieving.

Customer:

i spent thirteen days with John in hospice, not being able to do anything about it, the last night i told him to leave all this pain and sickness behind, and he left

Jean N/20pluscounts :

In some cultures grieving people scream, holler, fall on their knees when they have lost so much- because it hurts so deeply. In our country we tend to grieve more privately. Whatever you need to do to get through this. Are there people you can call to be there with you? You were there for John, that is a gift for both of you- to share such a sacred time- he was in a lot of pain- you told him it was okay to go- to ease the pain- even though you lost so much.

Customer:

yes i did. Told Dad to leave the pain and sickness behind three weeks later, and he did

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You must have felt helpless, like you said, not being able to do anything about his pain/death. Death- the ultimate sense of powerlessness- we have zero control- that's scary! Being at the bedside of a loved one when they pass is both painful, but moving. It's difficult to see our loved ones suffer so. You will see them again- I'm sure of that. You miss them!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

That's way too much loss in such a short time- especially people so close to you.

Customer:

thank you, XXXXX XXXXX to bed now

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Through this grief there will be light- in time. When we are so in the dark, there will be enlightenment.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are welcome- please post anytime- support is important right now. Thanks for sharing!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I hope you sleep well- rest is important- it's exhausting work- grieving.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I hope I was able to offer a little support at such a difficult time.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You will get through this- somehow.

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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