I don't even know were to start. My wife and I have had problems for years, she says its because she really just hates me, when I ask her why she gives me a general answer of everything. But its not just me she hates its everyone who is or has ever been associated with me or is a friend of mine including my family members. She either thinks they all are against her or that we are all sneaking around behind her back and laughing and talking about her and that everything anyone says is a lie. She is also very manipulative in getting everyone to believe things happened that never happened or at least not the way she thinks they did. She is also very aggressive and violent but only against me, my family and friends or anyone she thinks is trying to conspire against her. I want you to understand the whole picture, she moved from California 14 years ago and my family didn't really accept her and with time it got worse so I distanced myself from my family with the exception of my father whom I work around but have no real relationship with because he and the rest of my family wouldn't treat my wife as part of the family. I know I haven't been the best husband but I truly don't understand the constant hate she has for everyone.
Doctor z.. I want to give you a little more insight to my previous question. I started noticing this behavior not long after we started dating and it seemed to be brought on by my ex-wife who called her and told her things that were not true, at the time me and my ex-wife were still married but going through a bitter divorce, and I excused her reaction because of this, my ex-wife continued to try and destroy my relationship with my wife and still does to this day, and with each lie that she would tell her trust in me diminished. Now I am not perfect with all the problems we were having I started telling lies to avoid confrontation and of course this destroyed even more trust so we separated several times sometimes for long periods of time with the threat of divorce constantly present and we both made several mistakes during those times including infidelity. Now we both forgave the other for all that we did and decided on a fresh start that was 8 yrs ago and as far as I know their has been nothing to cause our current problems or issues. She blames the way things are now on what I did in the past not what she has done but what I have done, she says we cant go out anywhere that she feels safe and secure and that she feel everyone is talking about her and that everyone knows that I was unfaithful to her and she feels ashamed. Now I said in my earlier question that she feels everyone is conspiring and talking behind her back but she doesn't feel that way about her friends and family I don't understand that part. I will say that I noticed this behavior in her way before any infidelities or lies or whatever happened, it has progressively gotten worse over the years at first I thought PMDD but I don't think so I feel it was more like paranoia. I just thought this may be important facts in determining the problem. I still don't understand the anger, hatred the violent behavior, the paranoia , and uncontrollable desire to hurt me, She tells me daily that she is the way she is because of me. Could it be?
Sorry I keep asking questions the more I think about everything and the more I read up on psychosis. Would or could cannabis cause paranoia or delusions? or can it enhance the illness? The reason I ask is on of the times we separated years ago, a doctor in California told her it would help with her sleeping problems and she has been using regularly since, I have never seen a change in her insomnia but she is convinced that she cannot get a good night sleep without it. Anytime I have ever used cannabis in my life it made me paranoid so I didn't like that so I done use it, even though it does help me sleep but doesn't help her.
I did see a study that said they were still trying to medically verify this but were certain it did cause psychosis just from using, makes since if cannabis makes people paranoid and hallucinate why wouldn't it intensify the psychosis or even cause it. Anyway no hurry on the answer, my wife left for California because she said she was afraid that her anger was so great that if she stayed she might do something harmful.....I tried to get her to stay and go to therapy or counseling with me but she cant think rationally..
Doctor Z...Since my last question my wife has gone back to California, we had a big talk before she left, both of us in tears not wanting her to leave, I told her a little about what you had said about possibilities for the cause of her actions she said she had to leave but would come back in a couple of weeks and go to therapy or something, well now she says she cannot get over all the anger she feels and that she wants a divorce, I know a lot of it is pressure from her family and friends because they believe I am the problem (Mainly because they only here what she tells them) I am trying my best to save my marriage because I do love her and I know that what she says and does she cannot control, and I also feel that if she continues to get worse then her next relationship will end the same way as ours and so forth and I do love her to much to see her go through life angry and miserable...Can you recommend any way to approach her that wont feel threatening to her...I really need her to get some help....