How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
54658078
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a mental health question. I recently got married to

Resolved Question:

I have a mental health question. I recently got married to a soldier. We are both in our 40's. We have moved 4 times in 15 months. I left my house, my job, my friends, and family to be with him. I also suffer from panic disorder with mild agoraphobia (diagnosed by a psychiatrist). I thought moving away and starting fresh would not only challenge me but free me. It has in some ways but now I am alone most of the day (did not have access to a car for the last 4 months unless husband at home) I am looking for employment but nothing in the area so far (we're rural and its a 30 orXXXXXto Savannah or Hinesville), I have yet to meet anyone so my days are spent alone. I gained 20 pounds in 8 months (on a diet now) and I just feel very alone and depressed as well as struggling to keep anxiety at bay. My step-dad died last year, my family broke apart as a result, my daughter (21) is busy with her life in New Orleans, so my old support system is torn to shreds. I struggle to keep busy, to do stuff but I am some days feel like I am losing the battle, getting resentful of my husband who's life is going great with his job and his work friends, I feel lost and very lonely. Tried church's so far no real community, looked for volunteer stuff - not much. I don't know what to do
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is very understandable that you feel as you do. You have given up a tremendous amount of yourself and your life in order to be with your husband. While he is moving with a purpose for another position, you are only moving to be with him. He stays in the same situation with his work and you lose everything. Along with the loss of your step father and the loss of support, it makes sense you are struggling.

Any type of loss is going to cause you to either feel depressed or grieve. And if you have little support where you are, then you are grieving alone. Being stuck at home and not being able to turn to your daughter or your husband only makes what you are going through even worse.

The first step in dealing with what you feel is to allow yourself to recognize that you are grieving. You are mourning the loss of your supports, step father, lack of communication with your daughter and your natural desire to fit in to where you live. Everyone wants to feel they belong and are surrounded by those who care about them. That is not something you have right now, so recognizing that is important.

Here is a resource to help you:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Second, you are trying to find ways to connect and for now, it is not working. Keep trying. But also go outside of your area to connect with others. Try planning a trip back to where you are from. See if you can take some time to visit your daughter. Try Skype or other ways to reach out to friends and other family. It is not the same, I know, but it can make your day brighter if you can talk to someone who cares.

Third, consider therapy. You mentioned a psychiatrist which is good, but sometimes just talking to someone who understands can offer a lot of support and give you an outlet. Try a regular therapist (Master's level or Ph.D) to talk to. They can help.

Four, try on line friendships. Forums for those with panic and anxiety, start a blog or a Facebook page or any other way you feel comfortable reaching out. It can be a way to connect with those you do feel comfortable with, especially since you are so isolated.

If possible, also try to talk with your husband about your situation. If it is in your budget, try to buy a car so you can get around, even if it is local. Getting out of your home will broaden your choices and that can often make a huge difference in your life.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate









May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education