I have been having a difficult time lately with depression and anxiety
. I am 7 months pregnant and these problems started to occur when I was 6 months pregnant. It first began with negative thoughts, which would make me unhappy and cause anxiety. I just didn't feel like myself and knew something was a bit off. I expressed these feelings to my OBGYN, and he put me on 50 Mg of Zoloft and 30 Mg of Buspar. During the earlier stages of this, I begin to have instrusive music in my mind (songs that I had heard recently). I would hear it when I woke up or when I wasn't occupied. I'm sure I made it worse by thinking about it all the time and wishing it would go away. As this was a new experience to me, it became so intrusive and irratating that I couldn't sleep or eat. It consumed me as I had no idea what was wrong. At this point, I thought it would be a great idea to see a psychiatrist and make sure I was getting the proper care. It's been about 3 weeks since beginning the zoloft and buspar, and I feel a little better. I still have ups and downs. I'm not quite sure if the medications is leveling out or needs more time to work it's way into my system. There are still some mornings that I wake up and cry and don't want to get out of bed. I'm so ready to return to a calm mind and better concentration. The zoloft and buspar combo have allowed me to sleep and eat better, however, I still have the intrusive music/mind chatter, which is not quite as intense, but is still there and has become an obsession. My fear is that it will be with me for the rest of my life, which makes me feel very sad
. The psychiatrist feel that my pregnancy hormones have a lot to do with this condition. In addition, I was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes as I have really high blood sugar. This may also be a contributing factor to the depression and anxiety as well. Currently, I'm taking 100 Mg of Zoloft (I just increased my dose from 75 mg to 100 mg) on Saturday.
What frightens me the most is that I read many posts (in online chat forums) regarding depression and intrusive music and many of the people say that the music never goes away. This is very discouraging and makes me feel there is no hope. I really need some answers from someone who is familiar with this as my psychiatrist feels that the intrusive music is not really a "classic" OCD system and feels that it is a protection mechanism that my mind has created in dealing with the depression. I want someone to provide me with hope that this will not last forever. I have the most wonderful family (a great husband and 3 year old daughter with another girl due in September). I want my peace and happiness back in order to enjoy the people in my life that God has blessed me with. Please provide your experience with this and advise. I really need success stories in treatment and the best treatment options.