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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4471
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I am kind of at a crossroad in my life, and am very conflicted

Resolved Question:

I am kind of at a crossroad in my life, and am very conflicted as to which way to proceed.
Three weeks ago, I "left" my job in childcare (a field I have been in for over 30 yrs)....my reason (what I told my employer) is that there was a "family emergency" I had to attend to.....to be honest, I am totally "burnt out" in this profession (yet still can "go through the motions" and get very high job proformance appraisals).....
My deep down reasons for "taking time out", are feelings of not having time/space to attend to home life (including a unstable marraige, adult child at home with learning challanges which present issues in getting into college or finding a job)....one big issue is that my daughter has been serving with the Peace Corps in Peru for the past 2 years...she is scheduled to return home in mid-Dec (and will start Grad school in Jan)...she lived at home and her room has been a storage place while away...it will need to be cleaned out before her return (which is a major, time-consuming job).....
I also have many health related issues which make my job with children difficult (infants/toddlers).....fibromylgia, degenerative disc disorder, severe anemia(for which I have had to have transfusions and iron infusions in the past)......
There are many things at home which need "doing", that I have let slide because of being totally wiped-out after a full day at work.....I can barely get through dinner.

In the past, I had taken classes on-line, working on a degree in Social Science/Psychology...I stopped in 2011.....however, I am considering returning and finishing the degree (only need 15 credits)......I would not be able to do this if I go back to working....

One big issue is money......my family has to buy our own insurance (not eliglible trough employer because of pre-existing cond)...we had to purchase through our states high-risk pool....I pay $1,175/month...no other options right now.....my husband is self-employed and does not have access to insurance coverage......I pay the monthly premium now (since leaving work) from an inheritance (which I really don't want to use all up to pay for insurance)....I made about $2000/month when I worked.....

Anyways, I need to make a decision as to whether to just go back to work, put everything else on hold, hope my health holds out, etc.....basically just to pay for insurance....OR to make some more "saccrifices" as far as spending, etc.....finish school(and then look for a job in a new profession), get my home/house in order and prepare for my daughter's return (as well as actually be able to enjoy/spend time with her when she does).......

Any advise is appreciated......thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

DoctorZ :

I understand your difficulty making a decision regarding work, possible feelings of burn out, your home life, health insurance, and classes online

DoctorZ :

I think health insurance is important for you, especially since you mentioned having some serous health conditions at this time. So is there anyway you can be allowed to work part time, and still be able to make enough money for your health insurance and other expenses? This can allow you some breaks to not feel burned out and will allow you to work on your online classes like you are considering doing

DoctorZ :

Getting the house in order for your daughter would be good, but it does not have to exactly the same as when she left it. Usually access to the bed, storage for some of her personal items, and a good walk way to allow her to move is enough. Your daughter has been away for two years, she is mostly caring about seeing you and your family. Also with your health, would it be possible to have friends of the family help move the items in that room to allow access?

DoctorZ :

Also some charitable organizations (e.g. Good Will) and religious organizations have programs that assist individuals with health issues and may be able to help you organize your daughter's room for free or for a minimal price.

Customer:

I would not be able to go back to the job I was at because the position is FT, only option (possibly) would be to be a sub....but then, it's still the physical work, and hours are not guarenteed, so would not likely make enough. I feel very pulled to be at home and take care of all the issues here...if it wasn't the "Money", there really wouldn't be a problem

DoctorZ :

I understand. Because of the physical limitations due to your health, have you considered going on disability or seeking other government assistance programs?

DoctorZ :

Also, you mentioned needing only 15 more credits. How long exactly would that take you to complete?

Customer:

Unfortunately, diasability is unlikely....Fibromylagia is difficult to "prove", as is any "pain related" disorder....though I have three herniated discs, I have become used to pain and just "deal with it"...therefore, it is not seen as preventing me from doing the duties of my profession (I just deal with the pain since there's no other choice)

Customer:

As far as the credits, it is 5 classes....depends how many I take a semester (would probably be at least two to get the pell grant (have to carry at least 6 credits)

DoctorZ :

That is unfortunate that you would not qualify for disability. It seems like you ell through the cracks in the system that is designed to help you. The reason I asked about the classes, is because would it be possible to rely more on your savings/inheritance as you finish your classes and then focus on your new career once you graduate? So the plan would be relying on your inheritance for a limited term

DoctorZ :

Also SSI can allow for you to work part time and still receive some financial benefits, so that may be an option

Customer:

It is too bad because I seem to be an "exception" to any of the programs designed to help....very discouraging. I am leaning towards officially "quitting" my job, concentrating on the home issues, trying to get into better "self-care"....exercise, etc....and starting out with taking two classes this fall.

DoctorZ :

That can be better for you regarding your home life and health issues. What do you think you would do for money?

Customer:

I would have to rely on my inheritance.....it's not much and things would be tight, but I just can't see myself going back to work FT, and having to put everything else on hold.....After all, I'm 53, it's now or never

DoctorZ :

I think that is a good choice, you have to look out for yourself and your family. I think you will be able to make it work with proper planning and motivation

DoctorZ :

Is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Customer:

No, I don't think so...it was helpful to sort some of this out with an objective person....thank you

DoctorZ :

Anytime, I am always glad to help

DoctorZ :

If you have any future concerns or questions please feel free to contact me anytime

DoctorZ :

I hope I provided you with excellent service today

Customer:

Thank you

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4471
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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