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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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How do I deal with my 14 year old granddaughter watching porn

Customer Question

How do I deal with my 14 year old granddaughter watching porn & showing it to a 10 year old friend .. She denied it to start with but then told her Mum it was her .... She is coming to talk to me tomorrow as she said I'm the only one that she trusts .... What & where do I start to understand what has happened
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your Question.

It can be very difficult to deal with a child who is viewing porn. Porn has become so accessible with internet and other devices that it is hard to keep track of what a child has access to.

When dealing with a teen who has a problem with porn, the first step is to acknowledge it. Ideally, your granddaughter will be willing to admit to having this problem and be ok with talking about it. But even if she is not, getting this issue out into the open is important. One of the ways to keep porn from being dealt with is to hide it and lie about it. So exposing her issue helps. That is not to say you need to force it on her, but let her know you are aware of it and that you are open to talking about it. Also, ask her questions about how she feels and how you can help her.

Secondly, trusting you will help your granddaughter a lot because whatever you say will hold even more importance to her. When you do talk with her, explain the damage that porn can do not only to her, but to the 10 year old friend she is showing the porn to. She may not realize the damage that porn can do to a child and how that carries into their adulthood, sometimes in traumatizing ways. So by explaining that to her, it may help her motivation to stay away from porn.

Third, find out what kind of support your granddaughter needs in order to stay away from porn. Her parents may have already set up therapy and other help, but do what you can do add to that or just be available to her to talk with. Make yourself available as much as you possibly can. She will need support until she can learn to stay away from porn.

You can also help by learning more about porn addiction and the effects on children and even adults. The more you know, the more tools you have to help your granddaughter. Here are some resources to help:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/teens-and-internet-pornography/0002812

Hyperstimulation: Teens, Porn and Online Addictions by Craig Georgianna, Tom Underhill and Chad Kelland

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Sex_Pornography_Addiction/forum/4342041-teen-son-addicted-porn

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have anymore questions, please let me know.


Kate









May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Did Kate receive my reply
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I am sorry, I did not. That happens on JA. Posts get lost for some reason. Is it alright to post your response again? I am very sorry for the inconvenience this causes you.

Kate
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I still did not receive your reply. I am going to forward your question to the moderators to see if they can help.

Kate
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I hope customer service was able to help. I have not yet received your reply. If you would like to continue, I am happy to help.

Kate

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