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My wife wants me to sign relocation papers, that allow her to take my son 1200 miles away permanently. Some days I feel so low that I agree, and other days I feel strong enough to battle this in a divorce. When we speak about this the conversations get very heated very fast. Its a very sensitive subject for me. She wants me to commit to getting help for my narcissistic personality and if I don't agree that im a narcissist that I am not willing to help myself. She is not willing to take the divorce off the table until I admit to all the things that she thinks that I am. Can you offer any advice in this situation, or help me work through it?
Okay, I am sorry about your wife wanting to relocate with your child. I remember talking with your wife yesterday and I explained to her and you that your narcissism is prevalent in your behavior but I do not believe you are a narcissist (which is specifically called narcissistic personality disorder). But I believe that the narcissism you exhibit is a result of your low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is definitely more treatable than narcissistic personality disorder, so if you commit to treatment and stick with it, I predict a positive outcome for you. Now in regards XXXXX XXXXX to sign the relocation papers or not, you have to consider what is in the best interest for your son. Do you believe staying near you is in his best interest or being a part is in his best interest? Have you both considered couples counseling to get a better perspective on your mental health issues, and this way you both can talk about a compromise that would satisfy both of you and your son?
Also a couple therapist can provide your wife and you with in person therapeutic advice and treatment for you and with your wife present, so that she understand more clearly the issues and emotions that you are going through
we have spoken about couples counseling, but have not done it yet. She said se wanted to pick out he therapist. Is it common for a divorce hanging over a persons head to cause more stress than normal. I think that it is making it very difficult to commit to help because she will leave anyhow...
Divorce is commonly very stressful for the parties involved I am sorry to say. I understand your difficulty to committing with couples therapy because she may leave no matter what, but think of your child. If she sees that you have been making a lot of progress in couples therapy, then she may not want to relocate away from you so that you can have an active positive role in your child's life
You both should pick out a couple therapist that you both are comfortable with and should agree with what the therapist says about treatment no matter if you agree or not. That should be mentioned for both of you before starting therapy, so that your wife nor you can change their mind if they dont agree with what the therapist says.