Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
Lying means intentionally and knowingly making false statements. It is often done because of fear of having their inadequacies revealed to others or to themselves. Because it takes over a person’s ability to make rational judgments, into is considered to be a mental illness.
If it done to take advantage of others, to gain benefit, then it can be a personality disorder, such as antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, or narcissistic personality disorder.
It is possible that your friend has more of an addiction to lying – pathological lying, because the lies are easily seen and sometimes seem pointless.
However, if he is using these lies to get over on women or to make profit or gain, then he may very well be a narcissist.
His pornography addiction is a separate issue and is another problem that he must deal with.
You will find it very difficult to get help for your friend.
The first step is to discuss this with your friend. If you cannot get past this stage (if he will not admit that he has this problem) then you cannot proceed.
If he does try to find a good therapist to help him, if he agrees to let you help him and to find a therapist. He must have a face to face assessment and be willing to change.
You can search for a therapist at www.psychologytoday.com
Psychotherapy seemd to be one of the only methods to treat a person who lies pathologically or who has a personality disorder.
Pathological lying is multifaceted and is different from other mental illnesses. Some may have a disposition for it, and there is no guaranteed cure. It severely affects the person who suffers from it, and the people whose lives they touch.
Do not expect an easy cure for this. Medicines won’t help. Only talk therapy.
I shall keep your friend and you in my prayers. You must start off by having a gentle talk with him and then take it from there.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Do you think that my friend has a mental disorder?
Does pathological lying considered a mental issue?
Other than the fear of inadequacies as a possible cause of his pathlogical lying for 30+ years, is / are there any other causes?
Diagnostic criteria for 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(DSM IV - TR)
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
I wish you great success in helping this man to come to terms with reality and changing his life for the better.