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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10582
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello, Three weeks ago my boyfriend asked me for space after

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Hello,
Three weeks ago my boyfriend asked me for space after two and a half year of relationship. He said he loves me but he needs to figure out what's going on with him. He sent me a text massage today
" I'm always thinking about you guys.. This is hard for me.. Hope you really believe me.." He changed locks in his condo, even though I would never try to walk in after when he asked for space.
Should I text him back ? Ps. In text massage he wrote guys.He meant me and my 4 year old son.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

DoctorZ :

I would like to ask up to him asking for space, how was your relationship?

DoctorZ :

Was it doing it well, were you arguing more, etc...?

Customer:

We actually never fought .. 5 week ago we came back from vacation and we had awesome time.....but since he started to go once a week to study christian bible he starting to change

Customer:

He is Italian and his mom has bad influence on him ...

DoctorZ :

Has he told you what made him start to study the Bible?

Customer:

first time went because his mom ask him to be with her and now he loves the way how they talk about bible. He said it makes him understand meaning of bible

DoctorZ :

Alright, has he discussed some of his Biblical studies with you?

Customer:

one time we went out with his parents and there was a guy who sees things (the guy was from California and that was of coarse friend of his mom ) he said to my boyfriend that I'm cheating on him which wasn't truth. I really don't know what is going on.. He also said bad stuff about his brother which wasnt truth either

Customer:

Im sorry for my English . Im polish and I'm still working on my English

DoctorZ :

Its okay, I completely understand. I am French, so English is not my first language either

DoctorZ :

You mentioned his mother's influence on him, how does she feel and treat you?

Customer:

For two years she was so happy that he had me. She even were asking us when we will have a kids.

Customer:

but..

Customer:

on February I had my birthday and she didn't say happy birthday

Customer:

Since this she were acting strange

DoctorZ :

I wonder why the change? It is possible that she has influenced him against you in a way. Also since your boyfriend said that he needed space, he may be confused about what his mother is saying, his Biblical studies, and of course you.

DoctorZ :

I would text back, just saying that you support him and that you are always there if he wants to talk.

DoctorZ :

And that you love him very much

Customer:

so I took to the photographer her old pictures when she was with her husband on it . The photographer made photo looks like a new and framed it in a beautiful gold frame. i said to her that her son and her family means a lot to me.

DoctorZ :

That is very nice and sweet of you to do that

Customer:

what hurts me the most why he change so sudden . Why he said he needs space so sudden

DoctorZ :

It is possible that he may have been thinking about this for awhile before he asked for space.

Customer:

I did everything I could to prove her I love his son. ...

DoctorZ :

You can also recommend going to couples counseling or even spiritual counseling with the head of his church to make him feel more comfortable if that is okay for you.

Customer:

yes def ...

Customer:

thats

Customer:

a good idea

Customer:

thank you

DoctorZ :

Anytime, I am always happy to help

Customer:

Italian moms are tough

DoctorZ :

Yes they are

DoctorZ :

But I have no doubt you love him, so in a way dealing with the mom is worth it

Customer:

now I have to figure out if he loves me

DoctorZ :

Hopefully he will talk to you soon about what he is thinking because I think communication is key to any relationship.

DoctorZ :

I think he does love you, he is just a little confused right now

Customer:

so I should text him? What I should say

Customer:

i SHOUDL BE SHORT

DoctorZ :

If he didnt love you he would not have sent that text message

DoctorZ :

Just say that you love him too and that you understand that he needs space, but that you are always here to talk to him. Also it may not hurt to mention about couples counseling or having spiritual couples counseling with the head of his church.

DoctorZ :

The text should show that you are supportive of him

Customer:

one more ...

DoctorZ :

No problem, ask away

Customer:

I'm scared that if he will see that I'm so afraid to losing him ... he will realize that I can back to him anytime he wants... I don't want to be back up plan

Customer:

you know how the guys are

DoctorZ :

I agree that is important and a good point. Tell him how you feel, tell him that the last 3 weeks have been very hard for you and that you would like to talk to know where you stand. And that you are even willing to go to couple counseling to discuss anything and everything.

DoctorZ :

It is fair for you to know where you stand with him right now

Customer:

It's been 3 weeks ...

DoctorZ :

I think it is fair for him to talk to you and that he can still have his space, but at least give you the consideration to tell him what he has been thinking

Customer:

should I send him back beautiful albums so he can see what he is missing

DoctorZ :

Yeah that can help him remember the good times you had and how happy he was with you

Customer:

thank you so much for your help

Customer:

I will text him back now

DoctorZ :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. Is there anything else I can do to help you today?

Customer:

no thank you . you were very helpful

DoctorZ :

Okay, if you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to contact me anytime.

Customer:

excellent service

DoctorZ :

Thank you for the positive review, I truly appreciate it

DoctorZ :

Good luck and I hope everything works out

Customer:

just I should look for doctor z?

DoctorZ :

Yep anytime. You can ask for DoctorZ to answer to make sure I am the one responding

Customer:

great ! Thank you very much !

DoctorZ :

Glad to help :)

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