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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My wife and I live in a full service luxury apartment complex.

Customer Question

My wife and I live in a full service luxury apartment complex. Has full Amenities - swimming pool, spa, gym the works. My daughter and I are really been butting heads, she's been very disrespectful and we don't like each other very much right now. She asked my wife if she could have her birthday party on the amenities floor in a few weeks. should we allow her to have this party? I don't think we should but wife is going ahead and having it anyway, Please - give me your opinion
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is always a difficult decision to allow a child to have something they want when you are dealing with a child who is being disrespectful to you. Giving your daughter the chance to have something she wants seems to reward her for her behavior. But what may help is to see her behavior separate from her desire to have her birthday at your place.

Letting your daughter have her birthday at your place may help your situation in two ways. One, it is a kind gesture that allows you to show your daughter that although you disagree with her right now, your affection and love for her overrides any disagreement you have with each other. And as a parent, you can show her that your love for her will never change no matter what happens between you both. If you would choose not to let her have the party, it may just create more anger and drive a bigger wedge between you both, which will not help you resolve the conflict and may even hurt your chances of reconciling.

Two, by letting your daughter have her birthday at your place, it may help her be open to talking to you about the issue between you both. She will see that you are willing to be kind and she may take the next step to repair the conflict between you. She may feel thankful to you for what you have done and see that her behavior has not been respectful towards you.

If you do decide to let her have the party, be sure to continue to work on the conflict between you both. If it seems to difficult to resolve, try counseling. It may help to have a few sessions with a therapist so there is someone to help you both see each other's point of view and resolve the conflict once and for all.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you very much for the positive rating and bonus. I appreciate it!

My best to you and your family,

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank You ....I'll give it a try - however, she not a child she's 27 and I'm 65

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
You're welcome!

I understand from what you described that she is an adult. I only meant child as in she is your child.

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank You .......being OLD SCHOOL doesn't help either ....it's a very different world

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
It is, I agree. It is like learning a whole new langauge in dealing with the younger generations!

Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Thank You - you've very helpful -

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
You are very welcome! Take care.

Kate

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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
3899 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.