Hi! I'm glad to hear from you. I'm glad you're okay and things are proceeding without things being exacerbated too much from our last discussion.
There are a number of issues, or questions, you bring up and I'll try to get to them all. First, I want to discuss the medications. You're very sensitive to drugs and antidepressants especially, if I recall. That is why your doctor is trying medications like Equetro. So you have to accept that finding a medication you can tolerate for an extended period is going to be a trial and error procedure with your doctor and there may be initial side effects from most of the drugs you try. Whether to keep trying new and different medications is something you and your doctors need to consult about as you know her for a long time now. Moving on: why she didn't think of DBT is not a question that can be answered. Just like you don't picture yourself as fitting into the BPD world, she probably also did not. And as I said last time, DBT was originally created by Dr. Marsha Linehan to treat BPD. I thought of it because I use DBT extensively in my practice and have kept up with its development as a treatment protocol for many other issues. So I thought of it after reading your narrative whereas she didn't, given that she doesn't think of you in terms of BPD.Being in groups with people with BPD: I understand what you're referring to. It can be emotionally difficult to be in a group with people who are that unstable. But two points. First, I treat people with BPD who have stable marriages, relationships with children, and jobs. It has taken a lot of their resources to achieve this because they are emotionally overwhelmed, but they are "successful". They also do exhibit some of the problems you've described and one client in my practice I'm thinking about, for example, was hospitalized last year because of emotional overwhelm causing her to not function. So I can't minimize the stress it might have on you to feel close to people who have BPD. This would be something you need to discuss with the psychologist you've found out about. Point two is important, though: there are DBT education groups. They are often 8 week groups based on teaching you skills. These aren't support groups. Some groups are hybrids. So discuss this with the psychologist. An educational group might be more useful to you. But even if you join a DBT ongoing group, you can sit in 1-2 times before committing to the group. That is a way to find a group with members you feel comfortable sharing with.And finally, as for your husband. Trust your instincts and don't second guess yourself. Your husband is not "therapy friendly". He still is very much influenced by the stigma attitude from 20 years ago and earlier. Okay. You recognize this and you are trying to accommodate it. That's fine. Don't feel guilty about it. At the same time, do what you need to do to help yourself be healthy and live as well as you need to. Okay?
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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