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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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What is the best way to talk with a 5 year old girl who was

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What is the best way to talk with a 5 year old girl who was at a neighbor's home with her mother who got drunk, came home & tried to sleep with her daughter.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It sounded as if you did very well with your granddaughter. At age 5 she is not really able to grasp the more abstract details of what went on, and your explanation was quite wonderful.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It seems that her mother used bad judgement and fortunately everyone handled it well and there were not repercussions or unfortunate occurrences.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What is it that you feel you must say to your granddaughter?

Customer:

Out 3 bedrooms are very close together & I am not free to chat. I just learned from my son the mom had passed out on the floor by her daughter's bed. Thank goodness that she is asleep now. I will await questions in the morning. Mom is apparently totally passed out--which is obviously worrisome, but my son is with her.

Customer:

I am now thinking about what to say to MOM in the morning without daughter around.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Alcohol can make a person somnolent and go to sleep. I assume that your daughter-in-law is not an habitual drinker.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Sometimes a few choice words delivered in a kindly manner can have more positive influence than a scolding or a talking to.

Customer:

No, but she has apparently been drinking more lately: switching from beer to hard liquor. She has been depressed for years, taking a number of meds. She just graduated from med school & has started her internship in anesthesiology. Yes, I do & have been very concerned about her for awhile.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If it was more daughter-in-law and grandaugher (and mine will be 5 this month) I would simply say in a friendly but serious tone, "I guess you overdid it last night. That is no way to practice being an anesthesiologist. Fortunately no harm was done."

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is really up to your son to help his wife deal with her depression without resorting to self-medication of this type, but your short words, to the point but not overly confrontational, will let her know that you are well-aware of her problem and are letting her know in a stern but kind way.

Customer:

I hope so. Yes, that is a good suggestion. Also, my son has bent over backwards to help her with her depression. She will feel highly criticized--no matter the kindness.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You cannot cure her. She has to seek help or help herself. It is important to keep this from developing into any hard feelings. Your welcome presence is most important at this time.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

But if you are kind she cannot blame you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

But she will know that you are aware of the problem.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The high road is always the best one.

Customer:

True. Thanks for now. If I wanted to contact you personally tomorrow, would I be able to?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Many medical students feel great stress.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are quite welcome and you can contact me by asking for Elliott.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep your family in my prayers.

Customer:

Thanks.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

:)

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