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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My daughter is 55, and has serious mental health issues. I

Customer Question

My daughter is 55, and has serious mental health issues. I am 77. She is paranoid at times and has all the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder. My husband died 3 yrs. ago and, with difficulty, I have continued to support her emotionally and financially. She receives a small SSD payment and I provide whatever else is needed for rent food utilities, etc. This has become an emotional, as well as a financial strain on me. One problem is that when she becomes stressed she attacks anyone handy. In the past this was my husband, me, and her brother and his family. My son's family will no longer see or talk with her. My husband died 3yrs. ago, so now I mostly deal with her. She was convicted in Court for using abusive language to an agency rep on the telephone. I paid the legal fees. Now, she has received a 60 day notice to evacuate the rooms where she lives. She has no lease. Of course she is worried about where she will go. I have told her I would help her and would even co-sign a lease if necessary. I can think of nothing else I can do to help her, ( I have some severe medical issues of my own). Once again, she has turned on me and claims I am trying to hurt her. I'm at my wit's end.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 3 years ago.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your issue regarding your daughter

DoctorZ :

I would like to ask some questions to understand your daughter a little bit more

DoctorZ :

How long has she acted this way (e.g Paranoia).

DoctorZ :

And has she ever sought out therapy or taken psychiatric medication?

DoctorZ :

Here is a link for the criteria of borderline personality disorder to give you a more detailed look at the diagnosis

DoctorZ :

There are a number of things that can help your duaghter

DoctorZ :

There are clincs and shelters out there that can provide services and possibly shelter for your daughter

DoctorZ :

It definitely seems like you want to help her and I understand how much it must pain you to see her like this, so you can co-sign a lease for her if you wish, but do it based on a requirement that she seek mental health counseling.

DoctorZ :

If she really does have Borderline Personality Disorder, then a therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can help her greatly. DBT can also help with other emotional disorders as well like depression and Bipolar Disorder for example

DoctorZ :

In addition certain psychotropic medication can have an immediate impact and lessen the severity of her symptoms, so that she responds better to therapy. So an appt with a prescribing physician may help her, and there are some free clinics or women's shelters that can provide this service

DoctorZ :

For your daughter to help reduce her stress, I am attaching a link that may provide her with some self-help techniques designed to reduce stress

DoctorZ :

Stress has the ability to increase the severity of mental health symptoms in most people, so that is why it is ideal for her to reduce her stress.

DoctorZ :

And finally with your medical health issues, I dont think it would be wise for you to over extend yourself because you have to look after your own health as well. If your daughter will not at least meet you half way or causes you serious strain on your mental and medical health, then it may be appropriate to escape the situation and allow your daughter to make her own choices and live with those consequences without you in her life

DoctorZ :

I know that sounds tough, especially because you are her mother and care immensely about her, but I only want you to consider it for the sake of your health

DoctorZ :

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to talk to me and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I hope I provided you with excellent service today.

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