There is a way to tell if your son and wife have ADD or ADHD. Usually a psychologist can use psychological assessments to test for child or adult ADD, but sometimes these tests can be very expensive if they are not covered by insurance. In addition the tests are usually time consuming and can cover a few hours over multiple days. Here is a link of typical symptoms of ADD as well as a link for a basic self test of ADD.
We are not sure about the causes of ADD, but most studies do show a strong genetic component and that ADD usually runs in families. Anxiety that is associated with ADD also can be inherited as well.
In addition, your wife's symptoms of thinking everyone is against her, and so forth, is not typical of anxiety or ADD. These symptoms are usually found in a symptom of paranoia which can be a result of multiple disorders like delusional disorder, drug or alcohol use, schizophrenia
, etc... A detailed history and assessment by a trained psychologist will help with a more accurate diagnosis.
I hope this helps provide you some guidance on ADD and anxiety. If you have any further questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to ask. I hope I provided you with excellent service today.