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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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hello, Ive just began seeing a girl and she constantly says

This answer was rated:

hello, I've just began seeing a girl and she constantly says she is 'tired' most days and once when she was drunk said she was 'tired of it all' and she is 'worn out'.

I just wonder whether there is an underlying reason for this or if she subconsciously believes she is tired and therefore making herself seem this way?

Any thoughts are appreciated. I understand your time is valuable.


Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear M,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What you are experiencing seems to me to be a woman who is suffering from depression. Depression drains you energy, saps your enthusiasm and will, and makes people feel that life is hardly worthwhile. Individuals find it hard to concentrate, have low self-worth, and appeared fatigued and without motivation.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Furthermore, they sometimes self-medicate by drinking or taking illicit substances.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Perhaps there are stressors or insurmountable problems in her life, or perhaps other reasons for her to be acting this way.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

She would do well to be physically examined for biological reasons and perhaps a physician or psychiatrist might consider giving her antidepressant medication.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I wish her and you great success and shall keep you both in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i feel depression may be a good part of her feeling this way. She has said she feels she has had a 'hard life' so far and she wants things to turn around, and I would like to help her to do this.


She has also given up drinking recently altogether as she feels one or two drinks are hard to stop at.


If depression is the main cause due to things in her life previously then how can I help her to feel better now, obviously avoiding medication (anti-depressants) if possible?!




A agree that treating depression without resorting to medications is the best way to go.

I would try to talk her into seeing a therapist who can work with her using talk therapy instead. For all but the most severe depression it is just as effective as medications, and often offers a more permanent cure than just suppressing feelings with medications.

In the meantime you can start her off with a depression workbook written by professionals. It is the next best thing to working with a live therapist.

I will give you the amazon usa link where you can take a better look at the book and then give you a link to Collins Books where you can purchase it if you want.

Product Details

The Depression Workbook: A Guide for Living with Depression and Manic Depression, Second Edition by Mary Ellen Copeland and Matthew McKay

Sorry the Collins website is not up at the moment but their link is:



I have another book as well.

Product Details

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to Move Through... by Patricia J. Robinson and Kirk D. Strosahl

She can achieve remarkable success with therapy.


I hope that this helps you and gives you positive direction . Please let me know.


I shall contiue to keep the both of you in my prayers.


Warm regards,




Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you so much, Mark. God bless you.


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