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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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grief and loss........how to cope?

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grief and loss........how to cope?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

People tend to associate grief only with the loss of a close family member or someone significant but grief can occur with a job loss, losing your home to a fire or financial reasons, even the loss of a dream.

And the ways people grieve are all different. There are common symptoms but no guarantee that you will follow them in any order or even experience them all. Common symptoms are fear, anger, depression and shock. Some people cry a lot and others withdrawal. And sometimes people get stuck in grief and never resolve their emotions. They may even feel as if their loss follows them through life, never really resolving and always present. This may become complicated grief, which usually is helped through therapy and support.

How you grieve depends on several things. The kind of support you have (if you have very little or none, you may withdrawal instead of being able to talk out your feelings), the type of loss and the circumstances and your ability to express your emotions. One way to get in touch with your grief is to write out your feelings around the loss you had. It can be in the form of a letter to the person you lost or just a list of emotions you have. Another is to find mementos or old photos of the person or something that reminds you of what you lost and talk about your experience of the person's passing or what happened during your loss and the feelings you have about it.

Allow yourself to experience your feelings. It is so easy to listen to societies beliefs about dealing with your loss and moving on quickly. But if you do that, you may find the grief stays with you. Let yourself experience all the emotions that come with your loss.

Rely on others around you for support. Talk about your loss but also seek comfort and help with your loss. Allow others to care for you while you hurt. Be open to anything that helps you work through what you feel.

By doing these things, you can bring out your feelings and you can work on moving through your the grief and letting it go. Include therapy if you feel it would help and also as much support as possible. Here are some resources to help you:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

http://www.griefshare.org/


I hope this has helped you,
Kate
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