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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” – Einstein
How do you feel she is manipulating you? If you feel used and do not feel like it is meeting your needs, it sounds like you already know what is best for you.
We've dated since mid January has an insatiable appetite for fine things including travel, clothing, exotic resorts etc
but whener we meet her friends i'm always introduced as Blake
not her friend Blake, or her boyfriend, but Blake
her birthday last weekend she first wanted an expensive camera which i bought then she decided she needed a new Pilates chair, which i bought and then she really needed some resort time at a spa
So... how do you feel she is manipulating you? If it is not working for you... why do you stay?
and then this week she asked if i could fly her to NJ so she could visit her family
Do you have problems saying no? Consistently put the needs of others ahead of your own?
when i tell her that its not working for me and i'm not feeling the love back, she dismisses me and tells me that she is too busy to txt and say hello
but she can text the rest of the world and tell them about what she is doing every 10 minutes of her life
i for sure have problems saying no and putting her feelings ahead of mine
i don't want to hurt her
you may benefit from reading the following books:
The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists and
but she consisttenly makes me feel like an errand boy
Disarming the Narcissists...
hmmm...just googled it...i'll order it
they describe a common pattern in relationships where one partner's behaviors (entitled/demanding) are extremely difficult for the other partner to set boundaries around due to their own struggles with codependency...
they are both very helpful resources and can help you break this pattern in this and future relationships
I personally prefer the "Disarming the Narcissist" by Wendy Behary... but they both are good
i suspect that i have mental issues where i know it's happening and i know its borderline abusive on her part, but i can't stop
i pray every night that she will find someone else and leave me alone
it will hurt me for a spell, but i'll recover and the suffering will end
then those books are definitely custom made for you... they will help you stop participating in your own boundary violations
thanks Doc...i've ordered the wizard fo Oz and other Narcisissits from Amazon
awesome... good luck!
if someone claims to really really really love me....do i have to love them back?
nope... you don't have to love anyone except yourself
thanks Doc...the book will be here in two days...
thank you for being on the other end of the keyboard...i feel a tad better already
no problem... you're very welcome....
Hello, the book has arrived at the hotel that I’m staying at in Phoenix…I should have it in my hands this evening….thanks for following up