I am currently having disturbing thoughts that are constantly on my mind(mainly shooting people). As I write this I feel rather embarrassed and ashamed, I am not sure if many people feel this way or whether it is abnormal to think like this. The weird thing is, is that I could never imagine stabbing, strangling someone etc because it seems to violent but the thought of shooting someone seems easy and quick. When I think these thoughts I get rather nervous and spend hours in my bed just lying there trying to get the thought out of my head, I start to sweat and feel uncomfortable. The weird thing is though, that when I think of the thought I feel uncomfortable but I don't feel sad
about having the thought just uncomfortable.
I have done some research and many say that this is a sign of OCD, I am not sure if I am OCD or not though? I remember when I was younger I had this obsession of having to do everything in 3's. For example I had to drink 3 cups of water, go to the bathroom 3 times before I went to sleep etc but this isn't so bad anymore. In addition to this, I often bottle up my emotions and feel anger as I often believe that people ignore me and think of me as a loser. I am scared that I may act out on these feelings but I don't think I will.
I come from a very loving and normal family, I am seen as someone who is always nice to everyone on the outside.
I am not sure if I am dealing with OCD, depression,anxiety
or whether I am just a highly emotional person?