Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
Just about all partners of narcissists have suffered a great deal, not only being victims, but of being accused of being the perpetrators of injustices against the actual ones who victimize them.
Narcissists are the best con-artists and liars and to others they appear to be wonderful and beyond reproach. They don't just thrive on admiration and control, but they desperately need this "narcissistic control" which is figuratively their life blood, much as real blood allegedly supports and serves a vampire.
There are several excellent books that will give you all the help and guidance that you need.
The best one for generally dealing successfully with a narcissist is this one:
If you want to break away from the narcissist, then this is the best source of help:
The two above books are both worth getting, but the most powerful one is:
You can "look inside" all three of these books by going to their links. I recommend all three.
I wish you great success in succeeding in your difficult quest, and to that end I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC