I always end up forgiving and find the same cycle of violence right where it was. Hence the guilt--it is an endless cycle. I didn't add this, but I find that I struggle in my relationship with others and that my self-esteem is low from these issues. I have boundary issues with others, and while I've read books on the subject, there is so much guilt and shame surrounding my family situation and I haven't been able to let it go, or move on so to speak.
Thank you for taking the time to offer such a kind response to a difficult situation.