Ok , yes
I did already know that I respond with anger usually to avoid feeling hurt or feelings of vulnerability. so then The answer is really to speak with a therapist then? to get the root cause of the anger? what if i think I know the root causes... then what.. is it just a matter or making a conscious effort to make that change- which is so hard to keep up, i have tried. or is it better coupled with real therapy.
You can try to work on this on your own. But given the nature of anger issues, it is probably best that you seek the help of a therapist. And like you mentioned, it is hard to keep up on your own so having someone to help you can make a big difference. You can also consider group therapy if you feel that might help as well.
Self help is also a good option in addition to therapy, particularly if you feel you already know the root cause of your anger. Then you will know what resources work best for you.