How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask JaRee1993 Your Own Question

JaRee1993
JaRee1993, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience:  Licensed to diagnosis and treat mental and emotional health issues of adults, adolescents and children and pastoral counseling.
11914957
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
JaRee1993 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I dont know if this is the right OKMH626211postanswer

Resolved Question:

I dont know if this is the right category but it seems like it is. My sister is totally obsessed in being in a relationship with a man. Her longest relationship was probably 6 months. She is 45 years of age. We come from a family were my mother is total narcissist. We did not get very much attention or were taught some basic human functions. She asks people for favors, with me she thinks because I am her sister then I should do favors for her. Its been a constant issue with her. Our parents bought apartments and both of us were supposed to been taking care of them. She would come up with excuses not to help out. She would disappear. Say that she has plans. She cant say no to a relationship, fearing that the man will leave her. This weekend was it for me. She was remodeling her kitchen, left the workers at her home by themselves and she left town with with her boyfriend. The contractor came to my house and told me that the Granite was being laid down and I needed to come to inspect that. that my sister left town and he wont pay the granite guy until someone comes. I had people working in my house. I told him that if it could wait until she came back. He said no. I must go. I knew this contractor and I really did not want to let him down. I sent my sister a texted messages She did not feel that what she did was wrong. That I just might as well take care of it. I called her mrs high society, She turned to my parents who always defend her, my mom told me there is nothing wrong with doing favors for her. Even when I tell my mom that she does nothing for me. She disappears. She is very unreliable. I cant trust her to come through with something. She is a genius in manipulating people in thinking that she does not do anything wrong. I am tired of her behavior. She thinks because she took me to the airport one time, It entitles her to be right. I don't want to speak with her again. She is total mental case and does not do anything for me. all she does is critique me because I am overweight. She acts like she is better. Our parents are moving to town and there is nothing I can do not to avoid her. please help

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 1 year ago.

JaRee1993 :

Good morning, my name is Ja`Ree. I am a mental health counselor and would like to help you with your question.

JaRee1993 :

It does sound as though your sister takes advantage of you and you willingness to help and that people, including your parents, are enabling her to do this because they do not want to upset her. This is not fair to you and I understand why you are angry and frustrated. It sounds as though you are going to have to be the one to set boundaries with her to enable you to practice some self care which everyone deserves. Your sister is probably not going to change and that is sad. Nonetheless, it is important you learn how to set your boundaries with her and anyone else who takes advantage of you. I would like to help you with some recommendations to do this if you don't mind me asking a couple more questions to give you the best answer. Do you work outside the home? Do you have a husband and children? What do you do for fun? If you would like to talk with me about this I will be online this evening from 6:00 PM EST until 8:00 PM EST and would like to talk with you to assist you with beginning to set some boundaries and take care of yourself. If you want to talk with me about this please just reply to my message and I will respond when I am online this evening. Thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree

Customer:

Thank for responding, I do work outside the home. I am a nurse practitioner. No children or husband. She is the same. For fun I like to do home improvement. go out with friends to eat. I love to travel. my mother I think is the enabler.

JaRee1993 :

I am glad that you have an active life and seem to take care of yourself. I would agree that your mother is an enabler and it is often very difficult to help parents to see how they enable their adult children to behave in an inappropriate manner and not showing respect to others, especially to their parents and their siblings. I am sharing some online material as well as a couple of books that may help you set boundaries with your sister and other family members enabling you to feel more in control of situations that affect your life and feel better about yourself. one online site is http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323482504578227613937854612.html another one is http://mommynoire.com/14583/set-boundaries-with-irresponsible-family-members/. I would also recommend the book on assertiveness, I have found a good one is The Assertive Woman by Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin. Another good website is http://www.livestrong.com/article/195844-how-to-be-assertive-with-friends-or-family/ . I hope you find these recommendations helpful. If you think that it still might be difficult for you to do this with you family I would recommend that you find a counselor you could meet with on a regular basis to help you develop the skills you need to become the assertive person you would like to be and to set appropriate boundaries with your family. If these recommendations are helpful to you please complete rating scale so that I can receive my pay and to assist our customers with the best service I can provide. If you need more assistance, please let me know how I can better serve you before you complete rating. Thank you for contacting Just Answer. Ja`Ree

JaRee1993, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 180
Experience: Licensed to diagnosis and treat mental and emotional health issues of adults, adolescents and children and pastoral counseling.
JaRee1993 and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  JaRee1993 replied 1 year ago.
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Did any of the websites help? I hope to hear back from you. Ja`Ree

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 

Related Mental Health Questions

Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
JaRee1993
JaRee1993
Mental Health Professional
180 Satisfied Customers
Licensed to diagnosis and treat mental and emotional health issues of adults, adolescents and children and pastoral counseling.