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I believe that I can help you.
You cannot be hospitalized for these mere thoughts. You do not have a plan nor are you in imminent danger. You also understand the impact that suicide would have on your loved ones, and you are not currently in harm or danger.
You should talk to your doctor who is hopefully a psychiatrist.
okay, good. I didn't want to end up in the hospital, so I was afraid to admit this to my doc. I just wish I could make the thoughts go away.
Yes, he is a psychiatrist.
He may have to adjust your meds.
Perhaps you have other stressors in your life that are making things worse (relationship, illness, finances, job stress).
If so, you may have to deal with them with some talk therapy.
Job stress and finances, certainly. I've had those most of my life, and they haven't had this type of effect on me before. I just feel like I'm spiraling into the pit all of a sudden.
So, yeah, maybe there's stuff I don't even realize.
Do you have any specific issues that are troubling you more than others?
I just feel like it's all so pointless sometimes. I don't have a lot of friends (I've burned out a lot of them, and I have trouble making new ones), and that's only making things worse.
So I guess I probably do need to do some talking.
Thank you for talking to me, you have helped put my mind at ease a little. I will follow up with my doctor, and hopefully we'll get this straightened out.
I shall keep you in my prayers. You seem to be such a nice person and should have (and need) more friends. The good ones will stick with you when times get tough.
You will get past this episode, especially if you are proactive about it.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
You are very welcome :)