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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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hello there im 29 old male

Resolved Question:

hello there im 29 old male and weigh 312 pounds 5'6 tall and always been a life long dieter with no success sadly. i have tryed everything and never succeeded...how ever recently i discovered that my daily routine is always been "staying at home alot routine" there is no reason keeping me from going outisde actually but this is always been my routine i got friends and family and fun places i can go to but always felt lazy regarding going out and wanted to stay home and play video games and watch tv / computer / movies you name it. even the diets i used never actually made me hungry and my stomach always full but all sudden i find myself in kitchen my question is....does staying at home most of the day affect my diet ?? and how and why? thx for ur time

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know about your situation. Obesity is a serious illness, which requires adequate treatment with a multidisciplinary approach, meaning consistent support by a medical doctor, a nutritionist, and a person like a personal trainer helping you to develop good regular physical activity, which could lead to weight loss and a healthy physical condition.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Diets themselves could be useless whenever it is about obesity, since they do not address core issues behind the illness, specially psycho-emotional factors, including anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions, and an unhealthy life style.

Customer:

hi

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hi, thank you for joining the chat.

Customer:

u too

Customer:

sorry im new to the website is the above the whole answer to my question ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thus, staying at home most of the day without having regular productive and healthy mental, emotional, physical, occupational and social activities would most times contribute or worsen obesity and many mental health problems. This is why it's never a good idea to keep an unhealthy life style if what is expected is to get a healthy physical, psychoemotional health and to take good care of your overall well-being as a whole person.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

No problem. I am responding to your question through the chat.

Customer:

wat i do is this :- i go on a diet and do 1 hr per day or maybe 1.5 hrs per day for gym and the rest of the day most of time im stay at home person .

Customer:

the thing is...i only noticed this recently working on my diet

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Food is a very addictive substance, and eating could become a very compulsive behavior. You said you feel full but you always find yourself in the kitchen, what shows the compulsive aspect of your addiction. Isolating at home, keeping easy and full access to unhealthy-excessive food and a passive life style is the worst approach to try to cope with this illness, while it ebcoems the best setting to fuel the addiction-disorder.

Customer:

and that the only thing shared between my failed diets is the stay at home thingy....though the diet itself doesnt mae me starving or anything

Customer:

i just want to make sure....is this wat keeps me failing diet or not so i can change my direction

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Working out 1 hour a day sounds fantastic for a healthy life style, but it would become useless if the other 23 hours of your day are focused on unhealthy behaviors-habits, that's why the positive behavior -working out has been of little help.

Customer:

aha

Customer:

so the isolation here is the issue

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Obesity is fueled not only but unhealthy diet but by unhealthy life style and choices at multiple levels, that's why these other issues need to be addressed if you expect to truly engage in your rehabilitation process. You need to take into account the professionals I mentioned before plus consistent psychotherapeutic-counseling support, since this is once core area that determines how good or dysfunctionally you take care of your physical and integral health.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The isolation is a core issue without doubt.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It promotes and perpetuates the passivity, the unhealthy life style, the lack of real life experiences creating sense of meaning and fulfillment, real ones instead of the fake versions you get through the instant relief-gratification from over-eating.

Customer:

do u think if i change my habit and start getting out more from the house would help alot in my diet?

Customer:

sorry for my english by the way im from middle east :)

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

People feel anxious, bored, depressed, unfulfilled, stressed, alone, afraid or with any other uncomfortable or negative feelings, whether they happen to be more or less aware of them, they feel unable to effectively cope with such emotions-feelings, then use substances like food or behaviors as ways to get a sense of control in their lives, relief and gratification. the problem is that they only provide fake experiences-sensations leading to want-need more and more to obtain the high, the relief, the numbness, the sense of control, deepening the vicious circle.

Customer:

i noticed few days ago after i ate my diet breakfast and went to repair my car and took me that 6 hrs from my home and during these 6 hrs i actually didnt feel hungry ...why?

Customer:

please use simple aswers if possible lol :P

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It will as long as you not only go outdoors, but start reshaping your daily life style with healthy-productive activities. Many people with obesity could get worse if go outdoors and spent a lot of time eating junk food and not doing healthy activities, then going outdoors by itself would not solve the core issues, but it would be very necessary and helpful if with it you develop a healthy life style with activities that create and promote healthy diet habits, daily and healthy physical activities, healthy and productive mental, occupational, social activities and more.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

because you focused your mind on something that got your interest, and it was soemthign useful, productive, soemthing you enjoyed, something healthy and that not fueled the addiction-disorder, but redirected your energy into something healthy-constructive.

Customer:

oh my god...i begun to realize it now

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That's an excellent example showing you from your own real life experiences how your choices and activities do make the difference.

Customer:

so all these years of dieting wasnt because of the diet itself....it was because of me keeping myself all the time trapped in my house to playing video games and stupid tv

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

each day of your life is precious, value them as such, make a sacred commitment to live everyday at your fullest, without excess or distortions but doing what bring healthy meaning and fulfillment in your life, getting around healthy people who could support this healthy life style, and you would reshape your reality.

Customer:

im nearly crying right now.;

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I would never recommend a person in your shoes to waste more time with TV and video games, they are just part of the core addiction, reinforcing an unhealthy life style, one you do not need nor deserve.

Customer:

doctor is this just me or alot of people also share same mistake which they isolate themselves in home like me ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Wonderful, it's very good for you to awaken to a much broader reality, where you could truly take back your own power to shape your life in fulfilling ways. it's not an easy process but it's necessary and absolutely worthy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Many, many people do this, no doubt about it.

Customer:

please doctor need a final favor....could u pelase write me list of things i need to do now beside healthy diet and going out of the house more?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Other people with obesity become slaves of their jobs, and keep a passive -unhealthy life style, so even when they have a productive activity, because it reinforces their addiction patterns, it makes the obesity problem worse, since the person fools himself thinking that keeping a job means they are taking good care of themselves, and that is an illusion, since it is the life style what determines if they are using activities in healthy or destructive ways.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Develop and engage in regular sharing with mature people with healthy life style, make friendships with those people, so they would assertively support and push you to develop the same.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Avoid people who promote or keep you passive, inactive, perpetuating overeating or wasting time with TV or video games.

Customer:

what leads the human beings to get lazy and passive ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Register to any class or course you may enjoy and learn from, it could go from a class on mechanics since you like cars, to any other class, from art or sports. Join a club where you could meet active people and develop a more dynamic and vital life style, look for a job, even something simple but something that allows you to keep busy doing something productive that would promote your sense of self-worthiness, self-esteem and confidence, and from where you would share with other people, enriching your social network and support system.

Customer:

u really saved my day man ...thank u for opening my eyes i wish i know u in real life so i can come to ur house and hug u :)

Customer:

by the way is there a way i can save this conversation ? its a treasure for me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Fear uses to be a core feeling behind it, and it could come from multiple life experiences related to other feelings like sadness, loneliness and hopelessness.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for being this open and honest here, for trusting me. I am glad to know it has been this helpful. This chat remains available online for you to read it whenever you want to, just copy the link http://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/7txcr-hello-there-im-29-old-male-weigh-3128-pounds-5-6-tall.html or the text and paste it. it will remain listed in your account here too.

Customer:

i also want to add u to my list for future questions how can i do that please?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your kindness, i do appreciate it. Please work on becoming truly respectful, understanding, supportive and wise with yourself, so you would not continue self-sabotaging. You are a young person and can rebuild your life, stick to it and you will not regret it for sure.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You just need to direct your questions to me, like including: "I want Rafael to answer this question", or "This question is for Rafael", and I will know you want me to answer and I will as soon as possible.

Customer:

man im crying like a baby now haha

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe you can also look for my profile and directly click on it to ask me a question.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Perfect, let it flow, and after a good crying, take consistent action. remember that it is through concrete actions that you shape your reality. One positive thing helps, but becomes useless if there is no consistency, that's why it needs to become a habit, discipline, a life style. Work on it, it would take time, it'd be tough, but it is necessary and worthy and with the right support from healthy family, friends and professionals you can make it happen!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you again for your trust. I will love to follow up and continue to support you. Please take good care and consistent action.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
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