Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help you.
You have been celibate since the age of 32, meaning that you have been sexually active only about 1/4 of your adult life.
Your wife is more of a live in companion or partner but not a lover and now, at this stage of your life you want to have sexual relations with a woman in order to feel fulfillment of your unfulfilled fantasies and to have memories to carry you through life that is filled with some bitterness towards a vacuum in your life that you now want to fill while you can.
I assume that this is something you will do discretely and not use to cause your wife pain. You want fulfillment without judgement, strings, or repercussions, and are willing to pay for this service.
You may have to travel to a larger city to be able to find this service, but there are many professional young women who will satisfy your needs with understanding and great courtesy.
If you tell me your nearest larger town or city, I will try to provide you with some contact information and you can make inquiries to find who you can call on to be a satisfying professional surrogate.
I shall keep the chat open and you can respond when you are ready.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC