Hello and thank you for your answer, I have done everything you suggested, as mentioned in the orginal question. The only thing I haven't been able to do is communicate to my oldest daughter through my youngest daughter as she doesn't want to get in the middle, and the whole thing "stresses" her out. My daughter also lives in Kentuck and I live in Indiana (5 hr drive) so although counceling/therapy would be a wonderful idea and one I would LOVE to try with her, it's not really an option at this point. I would be happy to send you all the emails and messages we've sent back and forth, maybe you'll read something I just not catching.
Thank you - this is the same advise I've been given by everyone else, and I guess it's really the only thing I can do.