It sounds like you are doing a lot to help yourself, which is great. Attending meetings and recognizing your own emotional pain shows great insight and a willingness to help yourself which you know, as a counselor, is the best way to recover.
Telling someone how you feel and sharing are very good ways to help yourself, I agree. And I'm glad you are sharing what you feel right now. To address your symptoms, it sounds like you might need to start with a good evaluation. If you are experiencing difficulty with spending too much, that could be a sign that you either need medications or the medications you are on need increased or altered. Spending a lot of money indicates mania, which can be addressed through medication. Mania is part of Bipolar
(as you know) and Bipolar is a chemical imbalance which is best helped with medications.
Emotional support is also vital and it is good you are already getting it. It may be that extra support is needed right now to help you through this difficult time. Support through groups on line or in person and maybe seeing a therapist (or if you already are seeing someone then increasing your visits) can add
support and give you someone to turn to when you feel you are overwhelmed and need to talk.
Also, learning more about Bipolar and other issues can help you by giving you additional tools you can use to help yourself when you feel you need it. Here are some resources to help :
If you feel you want a girlfriend, that is a good goal to have. Any relationship runs the risk of going bad or ending, but living without someone and never knowing if you could have a successful relationship can also be just as bad. If you have a lot of support and are willing to try a relationship, the possibility of it ending is small and if it does, you would have friends and others you can turn to for help. And you would not be alone because many people understand loss so there would be a lot who could be there for you.
I hope this has helped you,