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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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I may have a predator in my life and I meed to know if im overreacting

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I may have a predator in my life and I meed to know if im overreacting or not. My moms bf is a very intelligent amd charming man. Very fun to talk to amd debate with. However I have recently been noticing things that scare me. He has an ego the size of texas because of his "intelligence". He is always right and never wrong. I literally caught him in the act of stealing money from my mom amd he continued to deny it. He acted like he believed he didnt do it even thoigh I caught him. He has been like this for years. He has never said sorry and refuses to. My mom said he never will share intimacy with her and I has no family or close friends. They have a unhealthy sex life and an addiction to porn. He literally is impulsive, lacks empathy and he seems loveless. He seems to care about nothing but his phone and himself. But he seems so normal at first sight. He has a repeated use of recreational drugs and issues with the law. I jist found out yesterday that he spent 13 years in prison for raping a 8 year old girl. He swears he is innocent and dna technology wasnt available then amd all this. And when he tells me he is innocent I want to believe him. He is so well spoken, but my gut is tingling in a bad way. Could he be a sociopath? I hate to shun an innocent man from my life qhen my mom loves him but I have children amd im afraid.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I am available to assist you Welcome!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I get a strong sense that you need to trust your gut on this one. You describe a person who fits the profile of a potential sociopath. The example of catching him stealing and he could straight up lie- along with other examples you give.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

are you available for a live chat?

Customer:

Yes I am available.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

A sociopath is oh so charming for sure- that's how they catch people in their web.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Thanks for joining me!

Customer:

Thanks for being here to help! Im at a loss amd feeling extremely emotional.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

He spent 13 years in prison for raping a 8 year old girl- that is very significant, difficult to be convicted for that unless there was evidence.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Someone like this starts to believe the lies they tell- they are so cut off emotionally

Customer:

After he got convicted, he was givin an opportunity to only serve 6 year's in prison if he would just admit guilt but mever would. so he served 13 instead.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

of course you are emotional, this is scary- your mother is in a relationship with him, and you have your family to consider

Jean N/20pluscounts :

It can take a long time to see this, the clues of what is really going on, because he is so cunning and charming.

Customer:

He never got paroled early becaise he wouldnt participate in the therapy. He was convictedof orally amd anally abusing this girl. Thats the only style of porn he watches. He refuses to engage Iin sexual activities with my mom. And she found out he responded to a man seeking man personal ad but refusing to admit it.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Your priority is to protect your children. You are afraid, trust your gut on this. There had to be evidence to convict him- this is adding up to something pretty significant- like you said you are putting the pieces together and it's frightening.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Is your mother aware of his conviction?

Customer:

But he is so smart and so nice. No he isnt nice. He is cold. But charismatic at the same time. We no nothing of his childhood as he wont speak of it. he has no family to our knowledge.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

A sociopathic pedophile- protect your children.

Customer:

And yes she just found out. But he has a way of makimg her believe his lies.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Part of a pedophiles m.o. is to charm, and to groom others to pull them into their web

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I would hope your mom will start opening her eyes- but she may be in pretty deep.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

This is a mind trip being in a relationship with someone such as you describe.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

How long has your mom been in a relationship with him?

Customer:

I have a 5 year old daughter. Its scary. Thank you for your help. I hope my mother believes me. she knows something is wrong its just hard to accept people are capable of doing things like that. And for 2 years almost. Amd she has been making excuses the whole time.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I wish the best to you and your mom

Jean N/20pluscounts :

you can offer info to your mom- stuff you find on line describing this personality

Jean N/20pluscounts :

however, you mom will have to be in a place that she is willing and ready to take notice

Customer:

I understand. Thank you again. I just wanted to make sure I wasnt overreacting. Im protective

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are welcome!

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Protective is good- just continue to be observant and aware-

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Let me know if I can help again. Would you be so kind to rate my answer okay or higher so I can get credited? Much appreciated!!

Jean and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Melanie,
Thinking about you, wondering how things are going. I hope things have been less difficult for you in your family. Let me know if I can assist you again.
Thank you,
Jean N

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