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I believe that I can help.
What sets you off ?
everything im irratible jealous angry i cant control my behavior at all
Do you ever injure yourself (cutting, burning, etc.?
in the past i went through sexual abuse when i was younger and recently remembered more of it
Were you neglected or abandoned as well?
my bf is older then me he is 51 im 21
Who abused you before?
my uncle raped me when i was 14 and when i was a child and i was molested by various people from the past
Do you ever cut yourself?
Do you have an eating disorder?
okay i think im fat so sometimes i make myself puke or i limit how much i can eat
So you have bulimia.
Are you afraid of being abandoned?
yes , sometimes yes im a lot to deal with
You seem to very clearly show the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder, which happens when people are abused and/or abandoned and then feel great worry about being abandoned. They self injure by cutting or eating disorders, they fly into rages and often feel they are being abandoned, sometimes for exaggerated reasons.
Here are the official criteria from the psychiatric manual DSM-IV:
BPD – DSM-IV
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternation between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance - markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging, e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving or binge-eating.
5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety, which usually lasts for between a few hours and several days.
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
8. Inappropriate, intense anger, or difficulty controlling anger, e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger or recurrent physical fights.
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
Anyone with six or more of the above traits and symptoms may be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. However, the traits must be long-standing (pervasive), and there must be no better explanation for them, e.g. physical illness, a different mental illness or substance misuse.
The best treatment for this is not medication but a therapy known as dialectical behavior therapy.
but what am i suppose to do i dont have insurance and my moods are worse and worse im angry its affecting work and everything actually i quit my job i was a stripper but i quit what should i do i hate feeling like this :(
Let me give you a couple of books to read. The first is about a young woman with BPD who was cured.
The second book is a self-help workbook to help you get started.
You have to do something and this is your best bet to get started:
the medication i did have helped me control my moods a little but okay im ready
Medication suppresses the symptoms but it doesn't cure you. Start the exercises in the McKay book. Read about how Rachel got over this disorder.
It will be a lot of work but it sure beats having to go through with all the pain that you do and how hard it is for those around you when you are taken by your moods.
I know that you can succeed and I shall keep you in my prayers.
I hope and believe that this will help you a great deal as long as you stick with it. You can consider therapy later when you can afford it.
im not nterested in reading books to hear about others experience self help books i could of found that out online myself belive me ill never go online to a doctor again
Then you will not have much of a chance at getting cured. This is your borderline reaction to attack someone who understands what is going on with you. You know that it is not poor service when I have given you great information.
You are giving up on yourself and you will not have a chance.
You couldn't have found this information because you wouldn't have known what was wrong with you.
You are in the business of giving service and you should know better than this. When you work hard to help someone then you don't like being dissed or stiffed either.
I will still help you if you really want help but I think at this point it makes you feel better just to get angry.
I as allowing you that as well because I am a professional. Your tantrums do not hurt me.
These are not negative things, they are POSITIVE HELP that you so desperately need.
If you do not like to read then you need to go to a therapist who is wise enough to know that you have BPD and give you some therapy, and not just drugs to hide the symptoms while you do not get any better.
You were fortunate to find me and you should consider my advice.
Bad ratings don't hurt me. They only hurt you. When you realize that my information was a blessing to you then you may give me a positive rating.