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I believe that I can help.
Sometimes it is very hard to shake an old habit, especially when it is a close romance that includes physical bonding.
There is something about intimacy that creates a link that is hard to break.
You are mostly over it, but there are moments, particularly when you are not distracted by your active life, that you feel the loss most strongly and fall into a short lapse of depression.
It is depression that causes your momentary lapses of self-confidence, and your withdrawal from social contact, and your trying to rethink what you could have done to have had a different outcome.
Another word for what you are experiencing is GRIEF, which is the same feeling that we all feel at moments of loss - not just because of death, but because of breakups and divorces.
You are doing the healthiest things for self-therapy: the workouts, the excursions with friends, and distractions with good times.
Your feelings are normal and they will continue for a while but should become fewer and further between these occurrences.
You are indeed suffering some grief over the breakup which you have taken badly. It was a painful one and you are not quite over it.
Don't let anyone talk you out of continuing the process, don't self-medicate with alcohol or other substances, and above all do not take any psychiatric medications to suppress the symptoms.
This will only prolong the healing.
You cannot go backwards, and you are not. You are handling yourself in a very mature and positive way and you are making progress.
Loss like this is difficult because it is hard to replace someone that you have loved for so long. A year and a half is a long time in terms of making a bond, and I understand how you feel. You do not have to be young to go through the pain of loss through breakup (or through death).
You will come out on the other side in not too long, depending on what moves forward in your life.
Or what comes along to bring you more comfort and to fill the void left by this breakup.
You must be patient and keep on doing what you are doing and you will feel normal all time, once more.
If you are into reading a very excellent and encouraging book on surviving a breakup, then here is the link to the best one ever written.
I wish you continued healing a growth and to that end shall keep you in my prayers.
Very best wishes
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
This is instead of or IN ADDITION to the Mathew McKay book I recommended earlier.
McKay also has another book that you benefit from:
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I hope you are satisfied with all of the work I have done for you. Further positive feedback or bonus would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
I wish you the best in breaking the habit of these thoughts as they may be keeping you from your romantic goals.