Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
Your daughter is suffering from anxiety. Hers manifests itself in a fear of death - a phobia.
Perhaps there was an initial event that traumatised her: a television show, a movie, a news report, a death of a family member or friend, or something she heard at school.
That is how these events begin. She suddenly realised or learned that we are all mortal, that life is finite, and that she could lose her mum or dad or sibling or other close family member. When she became ill she realised that she too was not immune.
A good counsellor or therapist can help her overcome this fear and lose the phobia, using various therapeutic techniques to help her change her thinking. Even one session worked and she should continue going.
I would also like to recommend a couple of books that will help you to help her.
Phobias are not difficult to overcome, but you should take action as soon as possible, as this is affecting her life and the rest of your family as well.
She will quickly recover once you begin treatment.
I wish you great success and shall keep her in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Could you give me some pratical advice to help her in the meantime as she is fairly distressed?
Also what type of therapy would be best suited to her needs?