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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Acting Like An Idiot: Any Insights Would Be Appreciated Dr.

Customer Question

Acting Like An Idiot: Any Insights Would Be Appreciated

Dr. Doctor

I have recently been through a rough patch where my grandfather passed away in february while I was away at college. This in addition to personal stress added to a real tough couple months where I have been feeling terrible. Although through the school year(until end of april) I was able to maintain discipline and order, I feel I have gone somewhat off the rails when I came back home. What steps can help me back to come back to feeling at ease and being productive?

Behaviours

1) Getting extraordinarily drunk, often spending a lot of money without self control on drinks at bars
2) Lack of Sexual Inhibition: At nightclubs with my friends I am unusually sexually aggressive, almost desperate for sex. Additionally, I have visited a massage parlor recently and got a hand job. I often have "waves" of sexual desire where it becomes hard to control and I splurge on whatever I can get my hands on(literally).
3) Excessive Masturbation. I try to control my masturbation because it makes me tired. However, recently it takes me huge self control to even resist for three days. When I do resist, lust only builds up stronger within me and often compels me to masturbate up to 7-8 times a day or drives me to visit a massage parlour(this has only happened once)
4) I am easily distracted from work, I find it difficult to concentrate or commit to things.

Possible Causes:
1) Anxiety: I started feeling extremely anxious after my grandfathers death. Consciously, although I loved him very much, I accepted his death as part of life and moved on. Unconsciously however, there has been a marked deterioration in my confidence and general stress level after he passed away.
2) Stress: I went through an extra-ordinarily stressful time at university missing a month due to my grandfathers funeral(which was overseas). My grades were extremely important and my excessive workload put me under tremendous nervous strain. Even though it is all over now and I did well, is it possible for stress to remain for a whole month?
3) Loneliness and Rejection: For the past year or so, I had a very solid grasp on my behavior and I was courting the girl of my dreams. However, after a year of being romantic and trying to win her over without any return response, I lost hope and gave up. I think this made me cynical about life and women(which could explain my aggressive sexuality).

I was wondering two things
1) Is my behavior and the feelings I have been feeling co-related?
2) What can I do to mitigate any disasters such as drunk fights(happened before) and landed up at prostitutes(happened before). Time and Relaxation has helped restore me before, as it does with everyone. What can I do to accelerate the process to a sense of inner peace, responsibility and productivity?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You seem to be demonstrating symptoms of manic behaviour that indicate the possibility that you have bipolar disorder, which is a mood disorder and is akin to depression except that there are elements of mania and of depression, usually not together, but occasionally so.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are you ready to answer some questions?

Customer:

I am sure Im not bi-polar. I don't have huge mood swings

Customer:

But yes I'd love to answer some

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you have periods of very high self-esteem or grandiosity?

Customer:

Not Really

Customer:

I had a stable self esteem but it has taken a huge hit lately.

Customer:

I have actually been experiencing a paranoia which, although not grounded in fact has driven me crazy.

Customer:

I had a huge fear that I was a pedophile, although I have never been attracted to children, and continue not to be

Customer:

This fear was connected with a burning sensation in my chest.

Customer:

Although the fear of being a pedophile is mostly gone, the chest feeling remains

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you get rapid heartbeat with this feeling, shortness of breath, or pain?

Customer:

Not a rapid heartbeat, but it is very painful

Customer:

Its almost exclusively on the left side on my chest and goes into my neck and jaw

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Shortness of breath?

Customer:

No

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Feel like you are almost detached from yourself in some weird feeling?

Customer:

But I have been using materbation to self medicate, it seems to make it go away

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It does ease anxiety.

Customer:

I guess I feel detached from my sense of reason

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

When you have these attacks do you ever fear that you are going crazy or are going to die?

Customer:

No, it makes me upset that you bring that up.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Why?

Customer:

I do feel a little apprehensive that I won't get rid of this feeling though

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

But you do.

Customer:

I thought it would go away with time, and it has gotten better

Customer:

But it has taken three months out of my life

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

But it is not with you 24/7 is it? At least not at this level of intensity?

Customer:

and I am afraid I may have to battle these fears in the future

Customer:

It used to be with me 24/7, now it comes and goes

Customer:

At one time the pain was unbearable, now I am almost always functional

Customer:

However, I don't feel I have complete control over my behaviour. This frustrates me and makes me nervous

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

These are panic attacks. You have a lot of anxiety which may be because of stressors or because you are one of many of us who are easily provoked to anxiety

Customer:

A lot of people have told me that

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You also engage in some reckless behaviour (sex and spending).

Customer:

I was wondering if you could shed some light on my sexual behaviour

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Let's answer these questions and then I shall return there, I promise.

Customer:

Excellent

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you engage in other reckless behaviour such as driving or gambling?

Customer:

Not really

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you sometimes become increasingly talkative?

Customer:

Yes, and they are usually accompanied by quiet periods

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you ever have racing thoughtsd or flights of ideas?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

thoughts

Customer:

Yes

Customer:

I often withdraw into daydreaming but I often go through periods with racing thoughts

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You anticipated my next question. Are you sometimes easily distracted?

Customer:

But both tend to be anxiety related

Customer:

These days I am frequently "out of it"

Customer:

A lot of time macabre thoughts come into my mind, a paranoia about getting HIV or going to jail due to being a pedophile have been the most frequent demons

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you ever feel a sense of speeded-up psychomotor activity or increased goal-directed activity (social, sexual, work, or school)?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It says that you have left the chat and are offline. Perhaps you are unable to respond now.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I will wait 5 minutes and then I shall save and exit the chat and we can talk later, if you wish.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Glad to see you back. :)

Customer:

Sorry about that

Customer:

My internet crashed

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you did not get my last question I shall repeat it:

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you ever feel a sense of speeded-up psychomotor activity or increased goal-directed activity (social, sexual, work, or school)?

Customer:

About goal-directed activity: When I am not feeling anxious or depressed, I tend to be fairly goal directed

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

As much about other things as you are about sex?

Customer:

I also have a pretty good work ethic and tend to stay on tasks

Customer:

and yes, my sex life was very much in control for a couple months before my rough patch

Customer:

I didn't need to discharge through masterbation for usually ten days, sometimes 3 weeks

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How often do you get depressed?

Customer:

I have gone through 2 serious depressions: Over the last couple months(although this was mostly anxiety related) and also around 4 years ago

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I would like you to look at the official psychiatric diagnostic criteria for mania.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

 


Mania DSM-IV


A) A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary)


B) During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:


1) inflated self-esteem or grandiosity


2) decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)


3) more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking


4) flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing


5) distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)


6) increase in goal-directed activity (at work, at school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation


7) excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)


C) The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode


D) The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.


E) The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition.

Customer:

I don't think I met 3 or more of the critera

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


I thought you would say that. I would consider 3,4, 5,6, and 7.

Customer:

My excessive involvement is pleasure and distractibility is generally when I need more less, am less talkative and less goal directed

Customer:

Sorry:
"" generally when I need more sleep, less talkative...."

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your drinking, drunk fights, going to prostitutes, spending money without self control, sexual aggression, lack of sexual inhibition are all very characteristic of manic behavior.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You have racing thoughts/

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your distractability (daydreaming)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Then periods of depression.

Customer:

How much of it could be "growing up"?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are also having some obsessive thoughts and panic attacks which often accompany bipolar disorder.

Customer:

I have only had one drunk fight, I visited a prostitute once after 8 motnhs

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Some of it has to do with growing up. It is not quantitative but qualitative.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I would urge you to get a face-to-face assessment.

Customer:

For sure. The only thing I am skeptical about is that I am able to control myself and be level for extended periods of time

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is treatable and manageable if you do have it.

Customer:

I have seen two therapists:
The First therapist said I am a sex addict
The Second Therapist said I am definitely not a sex addict but may have OCD

Customer:

I will take your advice and get a face to face evaluation

Customer:

In the meanwhile do you have any ways that I could calm my nerves and increase self control?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

First of all, you do not have to be a raging, out of control maniac to have bipolar. During my internship my supervisor was a top psychiatrist, chief resident of a major teaching hospital and he had (currently) bipolar disorder, and he did great. It was under control.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Don't use caffeine or diet drugs. Don't drink. DEFINITELY do not take any antidepressants, not prescription and not St. John's Wort or 5-HTP either.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Get lots of sleep.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are NOT a sex addict. You are showing typical manic behaviour.

Customer:

Deit Drugs have given huge huge problems, abstaining from caffiene does me well too

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You DO have OCD symptoms but they are related to the bipolar disorder, I believe.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I will recommend three books for you, but I recommend seeing a professional as well.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Give me a moment.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Here's one for thought stopping (from amazon.ca)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


for panic attacks

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


and most importantly for Bipolar Disorder:

Customer:

Thank You Elliot for taking the time to do this. I will certainly check out the books

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Elliot,

Could you quickly tell me what emotions or thoughts generally trigger compulsive masterbation? I have been masterbating extremely frequently lately, sometimes 8-9 times a day then taking a two or three day break.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear friend,

You do this to relieve anxiety. You also enjoy the feeling, but I believe that it is chiefly a means of "self-therapy" when you are worried about something and it temporarily relieves that "pressure".

Diet pills and caffeine can increase your anxiety level and so if stimulants in general arouse you more then it is a confirmation that this process is anxiety driven.

The focus is on relief rather than on sex.

Here is an interesting article for you:

http://www.theranger.org/2.13550/masturbation-way-to-relieve-stress-therapist-says-1.1860562#.UbUQv5zWb0o

Cheers,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

What is your view on pornography? Is using porn as an aid to masterbation more harmful to mental health than using no aids? How often is "too often" to consume pornography in your opinion?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
I think that porn interferes with future relationships and distorts a man's view of a woman and can cause damage. Let me share this video (in several parts) that I used to show to my marriage and family classes.

A Drug Called Pornography

1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALeRKvxrJjs

2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q7PEDlbVXo&feature=related

3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkFF2VdXEhs&feature=related

4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LkKx0irYPs&feature=related

5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ccG43znpOU&feature=related

6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWWFx_dy6QI&feature=related

7 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcQjA2Rt0e8&feature=related


This will give you good illustration of what I am saying.

Best regards,

Elliott

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What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.