Acting Like An Idiot: Any Insights Would Be Appreciated
I have recently been through a rough patch where my grandfather passed away in february while I was away at college. This in addition to personal stress
added to a real tough couple months where I have been feeling terrible. Although through the school year(until end of april) I was able to maintain discipline and order, I feel I have gone somewhat off the rails when I came back home. What steps can help me back to come back to feeling at ease and being productive?
1) Getting extraordinarily drunk, often spending a lot of money without self control on drinks at bars
2) Lack of Sexual Inhibition: At nightclubs with my friends I am unusually sexually aggressive, almost desperate for sex. Additionally, I have visited a massage parlor recently and got a hand job. I often have "waves" of sexual desire where it becomes hard to control and I splurge on whatever I can get my hands on(literally).
3) Excessive Masturbation. I try to control my masturbation because it makes me tired. However, recently it takes me huge self control to even resist for three days. When I do resist, lust only builds up stronger within me and often compels me to masturbate up to 7-8 times a day or drives me to visit a massage parlour(this has only happened once)
4) I am easily distracted from work, I find it difficult to concentrate or commit to things.
: I started feeling extremely anxious after my grandfathers death. Consciously, although I loved him very much, I accepted his death as part of life and moved on. Unconsciously however, there has been a marked deterioration in my confidence and general stress level after he passed away.
2) Stress: I went through an extra-ordinarily stressful time at university missing a month due to my grandfathers funeral(which was overseas). My grades were extremely important and my excessive workload put me under tremendous nervous strain. Even though it is all over now and I did
well, is it possible for stress to remain for a whole month?
3) Loneliness and Rejection: For the past year or so, I had a very solid grasp on my behavior and I was courting the girl of my dreams. However, after a year of being romantic and trying to win her over without any return response, I lost hope and gave up. I think this made me cynical about life and women(which could explain my aggressive sexuality).
I was wondering two things
1) Is my behavior and the feelings I have been feeling co-related?
2) What can I do to mitigate any disasters such as drunk fights(happened before) and landed up at prostitutes(happened before). Time and Relaxation has helped restore me before, as it does with everyone. What can I do to accelerate the process to a sense of inner peace, responsibility and productivity?