How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. L Your Own Question
Dr. L
Dr. L, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist
63993671
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. L is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My son is going overseas away to university. He is good kid,

This answer was rated:

My son is going overseas away to university. He is good kid, but not motivated, has been a compulsive Liar for mainly small but some big issues as well. We have done every thing. Worry about the consequences of this might have and lamost feel not to send him and keep him in a school locally.

Dr. L :

Hello,

Dr. L :

I would like to help you with your question.

Dr. L :

I can understand why you would worry about sending your son away to university out of your direct supervision. You seem to have limited trust with him...and that would be essential to feeling that he is safe and secure at the university and also that he would be applying himself to his studies. Sending him away right now would be risky.

Dr. L :

However, if he were to stay home what would be gained? Do you think that he would mature more under your care?

Dr. L :

If he were away at university would there be advisors or other people that would monitor his behavior and report back to you? Or would you have to trust him to be telling you how he is doing?

Dr. L :

Most 18 year olds are still quite immature and going off to university is very challenging. Most are ready to move away from their parents because they are tired of having to live by their parents' rules. So..your son is likely to be in the same situation as most other students he will meet. Together...they seem to learn how to grow up and be more independent.

Dr. L :

It may be important for you to let "life be the teacher"...that means that you let his own successes and failures teach him rather than you. That can be hard for parents, but at some point your son has to become an adult and learn how to function successfully in society.

Dr. L :

I do think it is risky to send him off to university. However, it might be the right step so that he can learn to be responsible for his own actions.

Dr. L :

I await your reply.

Customer:

I understand, can you refer to me some specific reading material or research about the behaviour and how do get him out of it which is compulsve lying.

Dr. L :

Here are some articles to read:

Dr. L :

http://www.empoweringparents.com/What-to-Do-When-You-Catch-Your-Teen-Lying.php

Dr. L :

http://www.livestrong.com/article/544939-compulsive-lying-in-teenagers/

Dr. L :

You might also find the following website beneficial:

Dr. L :

www.loveandlogic.com

Dr. L and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Related Mental Health Questions