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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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Oh boy this is a very stressful OKMH(NNN) NNN-NNNN

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Oh boy this is a very stressful situation my husband is dealing with. I will try to be short and to the point. He has two daughters, the oldest one is 25. She has always been difficult and defiant. Also very spoiled. The mom (his ex) is an alcoholic and spendthrift. My husband finally left after 19 years when the girls were in their mid teens. He wanted to get them away from her terrible influence including having underage drinking parties. The younger one finally grew up and is responsible now but the older one has never progressed. I've done a lot of reading on her type of behavior and she is a drama queen, manipulative,
needs constant attention and approval, chronic liar and blames her problems on everyone but herself. Her Mom is basically the same and they have an incredible entitlement complex. Mom and daughter live together,daughter has moved in and out of the house many times and Mom enables her because she can use her to get back at my husband, her ex. Both daughters worked in the family business but he finally had to fire this older daughter because she was unstable, hired bad people, hired her boyfriend who stole money from us, didn't do her duties and worked as little as possible This happened a year ago and she is determined to MAKE HIM PAY. Whenever she calls ,she wants something. She has repeatedly tried to convince him to rehire her and he has stood firm and said no. When she doesn't get her way, she has a "panic attack" and goes nuts, screaming and shouting. To top it off, she did get another job in the same field, but after working for them for six months was in a car accident (not her fault) but has been playing the victim ever since and insisting her back hurts and she can't work.
I strongly suspect that she abuses pain meds and /or alcohol and that her mom is also drinking . (She quit for a bit but I think is back on the sauce).
So my question is : what is your opinion of this series of events and behavior? Also she claims she went to a psychologist and that she was told she had PTSD from being fired and that she should not talk to her father. I find this absurb and don't believe a reputable
professional would say this. I believe she has twisted this to make her seem the innocent victim. Thank you for your time.
Hello there and thanks for asking JA. When therapist do an assessment we can only make a diagnosis by the symptoms that the client is telling us and how they discribe the events. Maybe the therapist has a feeling but can't give her a diagnosis based on a feeling that she is lying. I would give her a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I think when she was young her needs where not met by her mother so she did not feel loved now when she is afraid that she loss someone she attacks them. Borderline personality disorders sometimes develop to cope with drug or alcohol abuse. She is more influenced by the mother's experience because she is the oldest and she had the most time with the mother. She addapted to fear losing her mother from the disease ad blame her father. The best way to deal with a borderline is to be emotionally detached and firm with your bounderies. Do not take the attacks seriously she them as attention seeking. Be consistant but firm. Borderlines cause a lot of family dramas and they like to split families and make them fight in order to get the attention they need. Therapy works. If you see her as a scared an abandonded little girl by her mother this will help with staying empathetic. Many therapist will not work with bortherline personality disorders. She needs to see a therapist with a lot of experience.
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