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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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My 20 year old daughter suffers from panic attacks with some

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My 20 year old daughter suffers from panic attacks with some depression. She does not take medication. Due to college she has not seen her therapist in a year, and appointments are booked until July. Recently she has started having 1-2 panic attacks a week, since college finals. Now she wants to stay home for the annual family trip to Disney World, 7 days out from the event. She says she can't go because her sister's boyfriend, soon to be fiance, is going. But this has been planned for 6 months now. Not once before did she indicate a concern or problem. She says if she goes she will have panic attacks in Disney because he is there, so she will just stay home. Or we can tell him he can't go (after he paid for his plane and park tickets). The extended family of 16 is meeting us there, and Disney is the one vacation my daughter is passionate about and looks forward to all year. She would rather miss seeing her cousins and 89 year old Grandfather (who all live 16 hours away), and miss out on her favorite vacation spot, because she wants to avoid panic attacks which she blames on hating the sister's boyfriend. I know we can't cancel the boyfriend days away from the trip. But this is so disruptive and stressful to our family. My daughter has a history of inability to cope with changes or surprises. But this makes us feel like we ruined her vacation by inviting him 6 months ago. we would never have done so if she had spoken up before now. She never did. We need outside opinions on how to deal with her, and her anxiety. How to not feel guilt for the situation. And what do you think about her trying to avoid panic attacks (which the one 2 days ago lasted for 90 minutes with continuous crying, rocking and hyperventilation, triggered because she could not decide what to eat) . We need advice. This is so disruptive and hurtful to our family. Is trying to avoid panic attacks, while not attending activities you love, a good idea? Are we wrong for letting the boyfriend go under these circumstances? Any other thoughts?

pennyrayasMFT :

Hello there how are you?

Customer:

Good. I am talking to you from work, since home is stressful. :)

pennyrayasMFT :

that is good

pennyrayasMFT :

so your daughter can't see a therapist

pennyrayasMFT :

does her school have counselors?

pennyrayasMFT :

most schools do

Customer:

The only therapist she trusts is booked until July

pennyrayasMFT :

she does not trust anyone

Customer:

She wont see somebody she does not know who does not know her history

pennyrayasMFT :

Does the therapist have appointments over the phone?

Customer:

She has a chronic pain disorder and she has a distrust of most doctors due to the dozens of doctors and therapist who could not help us in the past

pennyrayasMFT :

she has bad experiences in the past

pennyrayasMFT :

what does the therapist does tell her that helps?

pennyrayasMFT :

I would ask if the therapist who she likes was to give her an answer what would the therapist say?

pennyrayasMFT :

Most clients have internalized the therapist words and when they ask themselves that they come up with something that would help them

pennyrayasMFT :

Maybe the therapist knows someone who she trust to see your daughter

pennyrayasMFT :

As a therapist I work with another therapist who has a simalar style and I trust she will help my clients

pennyrayasMFT :

I hope the therapist has someone in mind for this emergency

pennyrayasMFT :

There are methods to help your daughter with the panick attacks

pennyrayasMFT :

yoga breathing is a good method

pennyrayasMFT :

but I have noticed when my client's mothers are suggesting something the client does not listen

pennyrayasMFT :

I think the best that you can do is to support anything she wants to do

pennyrayasMFT :

if she does not want to participate in family activities because they are too much tell people she does not feel well

pennyrayasMFT :

and she will not participate.

pennyrayasMFT :

At this point your daughter knows what she can handle and what she can't

pennyrayasMFT :

She probably feels a lot of pressure because she wants to do things but she gets overhwhelmed

pennyrayasMFT :

Right now what would lower her stress is for everyone to say that you support her no matter what

pennyrayasMFT :

Why do you think she does not like her sister's boyfriend?

pennyrayasMFT :

Does she feel like the boyfriend is taking her sister away?

pennyrayasMFT :

people who suffer from panic attacks have a hard time dealing with large groups of people. If you break the group into small groups and say she does not have to deal with the boyfriend maybe she will be going.

pennyrayasMFT :

Looks like work got busy. I will be around

Penny Rayas, MFT and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Hello Mary I was wondering how are you doing

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