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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My love life, past and my life part 2. Hello again Miss

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My love life, past and my life part 2.

Hello again Miss Kate :) , I love your previous answer to my problems. It's seems true what you saying, I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me, when his girlfriend knew that he dating with me. He tell me the truth that he lied to me, he don't loves or care about me and he say 'I'm sorry' for several time. At the end, we both saying goodbye. I've been crying for straight 3 to 4 hours, I try forcing myself to sleep but I can't. I delete all his video, picture and contact number. All the time I've been crying, all I think about positive thought that I getting closer to find a true love that a man stand by my side.
Since I'm single and I'm getting stronger than before. But as living a single life what should I do. I'm already have a schedule and goals. I feel I should be a successful women and than get into love story. What do you think? but it so hard to focus when my heart got attach with someone. How should I stop from depress when I see a romantic couple, hearing a sad and happy love song and negative thought?. How should I know when the right person came to me?
Thank you for requesting my help! It's good to talk with you again.

I am sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. I know it can be hard to move on and you may feel stuck with your feelings. It is not unusual for people to mourn for a while after they break up with a person. You may see other couples and feel sad, cry at love songs and generally struggle to overcome your emotions. But this is all normal.

It is also normal to feel you want to be with someone. People by nature become lonely and want companionship. And wanting to be with someone is not bad. It is just finding the right person that matters.

While you are single, it helps to focus on what you like. You can enjoy yourself and look for another boyfriend at the same time. If you can, try joining as many groups as your time allows. Find things you like such as art classes, book clubs or even a swim class. Anything that sparks your interest. This helps in two ways- one you will feel less sad and hopeless and two, you will increase your chances of meeting someone new who also shares your interests.

Also, do things that make you feel good. Take care of yourself. This is your time to focus on you without all the distraction of a relationship. You can spend your time doing what you want. Get manicures, try a new haircut as often as you want, plan some trips and take some new risks. By doing these things, you can increase your self esteem and well being.

You can also use this time to make a huge change in your life. Move or focus on getting a new job. Make new friends. Do things that you could not otherwise do if you were in a relationship. See this as a healing time and a free time where you just focus on what you want.

Talk to a therapist if you feel that your grief is interfering too much in your daily life. It is not abnormal to feel upset for up to 6 to 8 months. Beyond that, you should notice less grief. But if not, talking to someone can help.

Kate
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